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Old 09-11-18, 03:15 AM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

Want to talk about this a bit, but not enough to start a thread on it just yet. Nothing is set in stone yet.

But...my dad moved less than a year ago 550 miles away to go live with his mom. She owns her house...though she still has to pay about $500 a month according to my dad for stuff like utilities, insurance and taxes ($500 seems super expensive to me considering she owns the place. Does this seem about right to any of you who own your own home?).

Anyhow, she's getting up their in age and has started to speak to my dad about her will...she'll be leaving her home to him when she passes.

So...he's hoping that I'll come live with him when my grandma passes.

It also looks highly likely that I'll be left with the home once my dad himself passes...which I truly hope is many, MANY years away.

It is something I'm considering. I've really had no intetest at all in moving with my dad...but then again, I've got nothing really going for me here in my town either.
I'm unemployed and receiving social security disability...and that income will follow me no matter where I move.
I also only have a few friends here in this town, and I'm really not even very close to any of them. I do have a grandma and grandpa that live here...but we don't really have any contact with each other (I've only spoken with them I think 2 times since my mom's passed away. Neither of them have attempted to reach out to me in anyway (they are SUPER strict and I think secretly they want nothing to do with me because I'm not part of the church).

So...it's not like I'm leaving a whole heck of a lot behind.

I do hope to get a job I may well love here shortly in this town though. If I can actually last with the job, that might make the decision much more complicated.

I do have major concerns though.
My dad isn't much fun to be around. He's the kind of guy who steps into a room, and immediately sucks the fun out of the air. He just has this way about him. Like he's just super down and everything according to him sucks and there's no joy in life...life is only a drag and then you die. And I can almost physically feel that mood of his...and it just drags me down!
That and there's always this tension I feel...all this balled up anxiety. I have to be very careful on what I say and do around him. I'm always trying to make him happy...so I always have to be cheerful around him. It's exhausting...especially because sometime his mood seems to switch out of nowhere...where one minute he's all cool and okay to be around. Then he turns into a grump and wants absolutely nothing to do with me. And it's like...WTF?? :angry:

I've also always got to be on guard and careful with what I dislose to him. I have to work very hard not to be overly personal and confident with hm...because when I do disclose personal and private things with him...even though in that moment he might seem very cool with it...he WILL turn around one day and use it against me just to freaking hurt me. Just to be a bully. And he'll often do it publicly...meanly say things I told him in confidence in front of people he knows I don't want to know what I said...just to be a jerk and make himself feel all high and mighty.

I love my dad. He's just not a good friend. He's not fun to be around, and I don't much like the idea of ever living with him again.

...
So i don't know.
It is a possible option to me in the future.
Just something I'm thinking about in the back of my mind.
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Last edited by midnightstar; 09-11-18 at 10:07 AM.. Reason: see PM
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