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Old 06-26-18, 12:34 PM
Ronelh Ronelh is offline
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

Originally Posted by DiannW View Post
Hi everyone,
I am particularly interested in connecting with others ( especially but not exclusively women) who did well in school and were fairly successful in their careers, but struggled with massive impostor complex, perfectionism and the exhaustion of trying desperately to "pass for normal". As for me, I have always felt self conscious about standing out, but it was impossible for me to fit in too.
I identify with this in many ways! I have a bachelor's and a master's degree, and the work that I do is highly academic in nature, involving work with multiple foreign languages.

I did well in my studies, actually when I got my master's I graduated with the highest GPA in my class (though I should mention that my school was small so it was not a very big graduating class). I actually felt a bit guilty getting a reward for that - which seems strange now as I look back on it. But I knew I would be labeled as "smart" because of my good grades and the nature of my studies, but other people I considered to be smart seemed to get good grades with relatively little effort, while I had to work super hard and pretty much abandon my social life to get the same result. So I didn't really think I deserved to get a reward for being "smart", I actually felt like a fake. But I think differently now. The reward wasn't for being smart, it was for hard work.

I used to feel very self conscious at being "not normal" but that has lessened a lot. How boring would the world be if we were all "normal"? Some of the greatest people in history would not have been considered normal in their societies. Besides, I've gotten to do some really cool stuff in my life, and visit some really cool places, which I'm sure I wouldn't have done if I was "normal". Yeah, give me weird any day. It's much more fun.
"It's this brain of mine, it's always making mistakes. It's got a mind of its own!" -Crutchy in the movie Newsies
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