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Old 08-05-17, 05:41 PM
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

I tried to get her to sign up with an account so she could send a card to her friend. Something always came up, and I gave up. Maybe I should try again.
You were trying to convince her to sign up to send personal stuff to a friend, but you're using it for work. Maybe she views it as not professional? Not all folks are into the app scene and such, especially the more old school peeps. Hard to know without asking straight up.

So you don't think upper management being happy with my work means anything? You don't think that they'd have my back? The president said "to put my mind at ease" about my job and job security.
Of course it means something. It means a whole hell of a lot. But it isn't by any means a 100% guarantee that they'll continue to be as happy as they are now, especially if they keep having to run interference in helping to resolve issues and sort out the dynamics between you two.

I'm thinking about trying to use my new negotiating skills to show tactical empathy so she feels like I understand her. I know, and I won't let that mindset fester if I try a different tactic with her.
Sounds like it's worth a shot. Just be mindful that you don't try too hard in either direction and go for some balance.

I don't like being controlled. I guess I like having freedom on the job, and I feel like she's restricting that freedom. She's up my *** quite a bit. Also, there are many things that she's supposed to get done that haven't been done.
Could you be feeling resentment for the fact that she's slacking in getting stuff done, and continually getting away with it while she's riding your a**, while you have a great track record of getting stuff done, yet she has a higher position in the company and is making work life as you knew it difficult all of a sudden?

How could I not go above her about the issue with getting things done on time? I'm thinking that I should give her the opportunity to explain what's happening first.
I think it's always a good idea, whenever possible and feasible, to start with the person you have an issue with than it is to go above their head. It helps establish mutual respect and opens extra lines of communication that otherwise wouldn't be open, when it works well.

When it blows up in our face, it provides what I refer to as yet another f'n growth opportunity.

"You torment yourself wondering how they could not love your burning heart. And the answer darling, you are not the star you thought you were. You are the f******g universe and not everybody is an astronaut." ~Unknown
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