View Single Post
Old 06-06-17, 06:56 PM
mildadhd mildadhd is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: North America
Posts: 11,993
Thanks: 1,864
Thanked 1,277 Times in 964 Posts
mildadhd has disabled reputation
Re: Understanding Counterwill: "Oppositionality cannot arise on its own"


..Distinguishing will from counterwill is important for any successful parenting.

Understanding counterwill is particularly crucial for the parenting of the AD(H)D child and for the self-understanding of the AD(H)D adult.
Children with attention deficit disorder are often characterized as stubborn, oppositional, cheeky, insolent, spoiled.

Willful is a description almost universally applied to them.

Parents worry that the difficulty is rooted in some deeply embedded negative trait in their child's personality that will impede her future success in life.

The truth is more complicated than that, and it leaves more ground for optimism.

Oppositionality cannot arise on its own.

By definition, it has to develop in response to something.

It is not an isolated trait of the child's but an aspect of the child's relationship with the adult world.

Adults can change the relationship by changing their role in it

-Gabor Mate, "Scattered". Chapter: "Oppositionality", p 185.

"When people are suffering mentally, they want to feel better—they want to stop having bad emotions and start having good emotions." (-Temple Grandin)

Last edited by mildadhd; 06-06-17 at 07:07 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to mildadhd For This Useful Post:
dvdnvwls (06-06-17), someothertime (06-06-17)