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Old 05-29-14, 09:24 PM
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Re: messy home anxiety

Okay that's it.
You gotta come live online forever!
Here no one thinks you're a joke (I freaking ADORE you!) and you don't have to deal with your messy home or people coming over and causing you so much stress!

You can just live here at ADDF and be the cool, loving, supportive, awesome person that you are where everyone just loves you for ever and ever and ever!!

((((((((((((((WOBBSY))))))))))))))

I use to keep my appartment messy. But my place was disgusting :*(. God I hated it. I hated myself.
It was all trash. 95% of my problem was not keeping up with trash. And it would pile up for months. I'd just toss everything into the piles.
My room would be a huge pile of garbage...nothing rotting, I was always good about taking anything that could mold or rot out...but just a massive pile of dishes, paper/boxes/packages, plastic...you know...just trash.
And my kitchen counters omg. I'd let all the packages stack to 2 feet or more, covering my entire counters.

If you've ever seen the show called hoarders...that's as bad as I'd get my place.
This is the first time I've admitted this here at ADDF too. I've told people I've let my apartment get really messy...I just haven't told them that I let it get THAT messy.
The big difference between most people on hoarders, and me...is the people on tv would have piles of 'stuff'...where as my piles were just straight trash.

And I was TERRIFIED of people coming over. People finding out. I felt like such a disgusting person.
I really hated myself for it .

Thing is, is at my apartments...the land lord comes once a year to do a physical inspection...so at least once a year my apartment gets picked up for the inspection (just had my inspection this last week actually!).
If it wasn't for that...I probably would've never picked up my apartment.

I remember one year filling something like 25 big black trash bags...and it took me and my dad several trips to the dump, to clear out the trash in my apartment :*(. lol it was such a pain too, cause I was terrified of my neighbors seeing all the trash I was taking out, so I had to wait till like 3 in the morning before I started to take my trash bags out...would fill my car up, then I dropped the bags off in my dad's bag yard so he and I could take them later that day up to the dump. I had to wait till everyone was asleep and couldn't see how disgusting I was .

...yet again, I'm making your thread all about me! xP
I guess I'm typing this all up to try and convey that I do not judge you one bit...and that I've known well what it's like to live in a messy home...all the shame and self hatred that comes with it :*(.

It's been a little over 5 months now...that I've been keeping up with my trash! I've developed a zero tolerance policy when it comes to trash. I throw it away IMMEDIATELY...no exceptions...EVERY SINGLE TIME...no matter how small the piece of trash is.
To my surprise...I've actually kept up with the policy! I still follow it very strictly. I had 1 1/2 bags of trash to take out this year for my inspection! It only took me about 4 hours this year to get ready for my inspection this week (haha I did a LOT of work in that 4 hours though! I was literally on my butt cleaning my kitchen and bathroom floors...by hand...with a mr. clean magic eraser, and an old toothbrush! haha).

I've always felt so much happier and more content when my place is picked up. I don't know that I'll ever have a truly 'clean' home...but I have been enjoying it being at least trash free! I've actually kept my curtians fully open in my living room for these past 5 months...day and night! You can see my entire living room and kitchen through the windows...and it's such a nice feeling not having to be terrified of my neighbors looking in...in fact, I get a lot of pride in the fact that they can see into my place now!

(((((((((((((((((((((The Little Miss Dobbsy Wobbsy Who Could))))))))))))))))))))
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