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Old 04-15-18, 12:12 AM
peripatetic peripatetic is offline
 
 

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Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by daveddd View Post
when I'm manic I'm just a "{spaz" or a goofball and the extreme dramatic rapid movement, speech, work, etc is possibly looked at as goofing around? IDK its hard for me to know what others think of me....even here

the depression , even the deepest is completely contained within and/or covered with beer and drugs

I'm so self conscious and socially anxious i would be devastated for others to see me as "weak" (depressed, even though its a majority of my life)

so i dare not speak of it or let anyone see it on me (so i think )

its almost like i can turn into a robot , just completely dissociate and live on autopilot


PS.. still waiting on that phone call
hey there!

i can't find it in me to ring tonight, but maybe tomorrow!

i don't feel it's proper for me to tell you what i think of you on here because we have talked and i'm happy to tell you when we next talk, but i will say i have some really solid memories from a time when i have few memories of anything and think only good things and see sincere struggling.

the person whose mania i'm most familiar with was esh's. and he was pretty unhinged when he was manic. but i see how it could also be perceived as cockiness, arrogance, hypersexual, "on drugs", or something. and not seen as bipolar. or bipolar with psychotic features/schizoaffective disorder in his.

as for me, i think the whole hearing voices thing does me in. as does the actions i take. but also just the way i talk and what i talk about... i'm pretty heavily medicated at the moment and thus "lucid" in a certain sense and it's ... i can see that i've really done some ****** up ****. i mean, you would know about at least a couple of things ; )
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daveddd (04-15-18), Lunacie (04-15-18), psychopathetic (04-15-18)