Thread: She left
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Old 07-16-18, 02:01 AM
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Re: She left

UPDATE:
Becca has been able to call twice a week for the last month and the conversations have gone well. Even her sister asked to talk with her. The average stay at the rehab is about 45 days so we knew she had to be discharged soon but Friday we found out that her discharge date is this THURSDAY! Of course I went into warp drive...we already decided the day she left for that she could not come directly home for many reasons. After everything that's happened and her not living with us since March 26 and having broken into the house, we would not feel safe yet with her here. We started rennovating the downstairs to make it our room, and then are making our current room into Ella's new room. The third floor that the girls share will then be just Becca's room and if she never comes home..then I guess a guest room or office. ANYWAY..we decided she would have to go to some bridge program and the rehab works with certain sober living places and they work with a good one I have heard about a half hour south of us. They offer IOP and sober living. There is no move in fee and I think one of the rules is she has to get a job and pay rent. I was told room and board is 150 a week which is doable if she gets a job but I have a feeling we will be helping with that the first month.

I didnt want to tell her we had a family camping trip planned because I didnt want to seem mean but at the same time, I had to tell her because she flies in while we are away. Her therapist said this was a good thing because it gives her a chance to settle into living in new surroundings without being bombarded by the chaos of all of us all at once. It sucks that it had to be this way. Then there is the issue of cost for the flight. We do not believe in credit card debt so we have no credit cards. Anything we do that is big we save for so the money we set aside for camping has been allocated. I am embarrassed to say that we asked our inlaws for help. I dont even know how to book a flight anyway and the prices this last minute are awful. Her ticket was 447$! We decided once she gets settled and a job we are going to have her work out paying her grandparents back..but we needed help there was no way around it.

So Now I feel all kinds of feelings I wasnt ready to feel and I have to remember that I am not the one in control. It is not my job to do all the worrying and that at this point, she made choices because she was '18' and an "adult" and some of them have consequences...and she does seem to feel very remorseful. She sounds like a different person and if she means what she is saying she is a different person- and for the better. She hasnt acted like she is getting a car and phone from us....(she won't be) and she hasnt asked for anything other than pocket money twice because she smokes now which I do not care about at this point. There is stuff about her that I know we will be learning that I will not like and stuff about her that we will learn to like but the unknowns with her have been painful.
So That's that. Sober living picks her up at the air port when she gets in on Thursday and we will be home Saturday and we will see what's what.
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