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Old 05-18-17, 10:17 AM
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Re: Parenting ADHD kids and non-ADHD kids

Quote:
Originally Posted by vibrantflame85 View Post
Hi! I have 3 children, all boys. The oldest is 10, middle is 8 and youngest is 3. My middle son S was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and one of the things I am learning is that parenting a child with ADHD can be very different then parenting one without. What I am struggling with is how to avoid jealousy or upset from my children without ADHD.

Some examples, all from my 10 year old son L (but I'm sure this will crop up as the youngest gets older):

Why do you help S clean his room but I have to clean mine all by myself?
Why is S allowed to draw whatever he wants in church but I have to sit up and pay attention?
Why does S get rewards for doing simple things that I'm expected to do without rewards?

Now, I do feel that he has valid points here, and I've talked to him about the differences between him and his brother, but I feel this will keep being an issue.
If I have learned anything in this journey it is that I can't do it for him...he has to figure out a way to do it for himself. In my opinion, and I really don't know your family so please take it with a grain of salt.

1. You should not be helping him clean his room, now he might have a checklist, and may need to be checked on every 10 minutes to ensure he's still on task, but you shouldn't be doing it with him.
2. The church thing...I don't get that. While the ADHD kid may not actually listen to the sermon, they will likely just get lost in their own head, it is still important for him to attempt to behave like the other children. Besides, if he's off drawing he isn't hearing the sermon either....so why let him do something different?
3. You have a very smart kid to understand he shouldn't be treated differently.
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