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Old 02-08-18, 12:37 PM
Jen_in_SanJose Jen_in_SanJose is offline

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Re: Meeting with School Today

Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post

but it doesnt matter if he doesnt need the repetition or the busy work because he is gifted. The other kids are not. If he is that gifted then maybe a diffrent private school altogether would make more sense. He is doing grade level work and you might think its busy work but moms of the other kids might think otherwise. Its not about proving he knows something- its demonstrating the skills of following directions, working in a group or on your own. Focusing and not getting distracted etc.

Super interesting that you keep pointing out "the other kids" and implying it isn't fair. First off, life isn't fair. It isn't fair that our kids have ADHD. We aren't all the same...thank god. If Luka can prove he has mastered a skill and if staring at a list of busy work gives him anxiety and he feels overwhelmed and starts saying things like he is stupid and he can't finish and it makes him hate school, why shouldn't the school say he knows the skills we need him to know let's let him skip some of the busy work. I mean that is just common sense. And again, he is in third grade. He isn't learning rocket science yet. On the standardized tests he is 99% in the country for English and Math. I, as a parent could careless if some other kid is doing less work than mine as long as he isn't disrupting the class, which Luka isn't. Luka also has a really good attitude...he actually WANTS to complete his work, he just sometimes literally can't, especially in the evenings when he is tired and as his psychologist puts it has been trying to focus all day and do what he is suppose to do and is just DONE. Other nights, no problem, he whips through his homework in 10 minutes. Also, he has ADHD, so we know he can't focus "like the other kids". I don't understand your point. Are you saying he isn't successful at school because he can't focus? He has no issue with completing tests or working in a group(though there isn't much group work at this age), it is just finishing certain repetitive assignments or coloring.

How is it suffering to do something repetitively. School is like that everywhere. If he is too smart for that he needs to test out of third grade and skip to a grade where the work is challenging.
It is suffering because he can't focus. He gets anxiety about not finishing assignments. He isn't like one of those kids that doesn't care and blows it off. He is literally in a panic in the morning if he knows he didn't finish something. And for what? Because he didn't write the 20th sentence to correct grammar that he already knows and it would be more appropriate to just correct the grammar rather than re-write the entire sentence. As for "testing out", again we are in a private school. It doesn't work that way. The material he is learning is only 25% of it for me. I want him well rounded, interested and exposed to lots of different things and his peers. Socially he is in the right class. I would never want him younger in grade, especially in the HS years when he will be immature and unable to handle the peer craziness plus the workload. More kids at our school stay back as the work is challenging(they are likely doing 5th grade work compared to public school), so for example my daughter is 11 in 6th grade but she has at least 5 kids that just turned 13... He is already in advanced math, so we are all good. At this stage I am not even sure college will be the right place for him. Yes he is super smart, but if he doesn't enjoy school he will need to find something he is passionate about and that will make him excited to learn. Right now he wants to be a chef. Yes, he can focus on a recipe for well over an hour...He is 9 and makes some really good food. Everything that I have read on ADHD inattentive is him to a T. If something excites him he can super focus, if something is boring he struggles and struggles.

So sad to me that all of your schools struggle to implement these state mandated plans and they can't just see what your children need. This is making me more and more confident that public school is not the place for him. As for a "gifted school", most of them would provide more work and I want him to be a kid and play and have fun with his friends. I don't need him to be Doogie Howser at age 16 and I don't think he is off the charts IQ wise, just lucky to be smarter. I haven't had his IQ tested so I couldn't tell you what it is or where he falls. Homeschooling is not an option for many many reasons, but thanks for the suggestion.
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