Thread: I can't change
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Old 05-16-18, 03:07 PM
Drogheda Drogheda is offline
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Re: I can't change

the road to change is all about small steps and then falling on our ***

seriously, every ceo (well, the ones I have read) say the same thing. we, are almost by nature, warriors in this light (I'm a huge fan on the hunter/gatherer theory (in therapy was when I was introduced, but it's easy to find on google), when I accepted that and read about it, I started to connect the dots even further).

think about it, your goal, your PAVLOVS bell is to get better. THAT is in your bones and when you fell down, you remembered and got right back up. the theory can bring up thoughts of narcs(the reason I was so hesitant to accept the theory was because narcs are hunters too). a hunter, is just someone who is intrinsically motivated. think about it, the stuff you don't want to do, why is it is so hard to do those things, because you aren't intrinsically motivated to do them.

for me, it was starting to make emotional connections on why I wanted to do all the stuff on my action plan that where not intrinsic to me. think about this, when you are interested in something (and I could be assuming but the trend is pretty general in this case with adhd), it doesn't matter what obstacle is in front of us, we do it. ALL the stuff get's cleaned and I didn't worry about any of the stuff.

but in order to do that, without pulling out my own teeth, was start to make connections on why it was important to me or others. I did this in therapy, but it can easily be done with a piece of paper.

for me,(and I'm only using cleaning because it is relatively universal), I feel better about myself, calmer, more in control when my room is clean (and there is a pretty groovy psychological thing about that, google is your friend). Cleaning removes anxiety! I more able to concentrate on my colegework, I TALK more precisely (again the psychological deal). I get to see what organization looks like, that's a big thing for us, it get's down into our subconscious and we get better at, well organizing everything after awhile. I KNOW where everything is without having to put a mental marker on it (like when I go to walmart, I can sort of take an imaginative snapshot, works everytime).

what was the opposite side of the scale, I live in a chaotic room and feel like crap. it took some time, but eventually when all the dots where connected, I started cleaning, not the half ***** stuff, the "I will clean 30 minutes to an hour a day until this house is clean" stuff.

the scaled system works for pretty much everything else. replace live in chaos to lose 10 pounds and feel better about myself for instance. tie in your own strengths. when I started working out I did the same thing, I worried. hey I love science, so what did I do, I started talking biology and why exercising is so important to myself while I was doing it. it didn't take long for the worry to just go away.

I hear you on the task list though, it takes time to be able to actualy put one together for oneself when we have adhd (the priority thing). here is a suggestion, ask a friend to make one for you.
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