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Old 02-25-19, 10:16 PM
Drogheda98 Drogheda98 is offline
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Re: figuring out self abandonment and my true self

thank you tudorose, however I'm trying not to even say that(smart) anymore to get more grounded. the more I research enmeshment the more I just want to heal. empathy is more of the key, or my own empathy towards the people that hurt me and forging myself and them.

I know some behaviors that I honestly enjoy doing, I think I'll track on my phone when I start to feel an emotion, what does it for me., tracking body emotions is, kind of new.

and just doing the process, either outloud or in my head over and over.

I remember(trying to *unpack* and process some memories*), I remember a time in my past when I was sitting on the kitchen floor, and my mom was just yelling at me for no reason. I would be sitting their, on the kitchen floor, not wanting to upset her, cause man, she was like, a powderkeg. at the same time, soaking it all in. the shouting at me matches were never over anything. sometimes those fights were litterly because she thought I named something wrong. "what a supid name, now your gonna get yelled at for an hour"

I could never get a word in. she just, yelled so much and then would always tell me what to do.. I remember asking my sister "what kind of mother does that to their children"

I love her but I am not her

heh, I feel a bit better getting that out. I guess whenever I have any of those memories just coming to the surface I need to wright these thoughts down to *unpack* some mental weight. and then, what I can learn from the memory going forward.

Last edited by Drogheda98; 02-25-19 at 10:46 PM..
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Little Missy (02-27-19), tudorose (02-26-19)