View Single Post
Old 04-24-17, 04:24 PM
Maxi King Maxi King is offline
Jr Member

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 15
Thanks: 6
Thanked 16 Times in 7 Posts
Maxi King is a jewel in the roughMaxi King is a jewel in the roughMaxi King is a jewel in the rough
Re: Progress is hard.. But it's worth it..

Thank for your warm welcome. I'd be more than happy to answer your question:

I don't know if I am or not. I disclosed my habits previous to last December, and to shed further light I was a binger. I would get the calling for a drink generally out of boredom, and after about that 3rd drink a switch would flip removing any and all inhibition and boundaries. I was gonna keep chasing that buzz until the bars closed down, and it wasn't just alcohol either.. The only substances I feared were opiates and methamphetamine. The more drunk I got, the less I cared. Though as soon my lifestyle changed and I quit smoking, my urge to drink just sort of vanished.. It was really weird.. With my friends, I jokingly use the analogy:

"Alcohol is to cigarettes as cocaine is to strippers.. by themselves they can be a lot of fun, but when put together its a whole new world of fun and excitement."

Now drinking just seems like a lot of work, an expensive hobby, and generally unappealing. Especially when I think back to the terrible hangovers that would keep me in bed for half of the following day.

Currently, I don't obsess over alcohol, I don't find myself questioning my control, and I don't find myself drinking out of boredom.. I guess I just have my time occupied elsewhere/shifted my priorities. I generally have no qualms going out Saturday night, having a vodka tonic or two if I decide I even want one, paying the tab and being in bed by midnight.. And I don't feel the least bit insecure about standing in a room full of people drinking with a glass of water in my hand.

Currently, I try to stay humble and limit my ego and arrogance. I recognize that I may have a problem, and I'm simply lying to myself. I take the steps to keep working on myself so that my means of mitigating boredom don't return to the after-hours bar life. It's a spectrum and comes in levels of severity. Though, I like to think that I may have caught a trend while it was a bad habit prior to becoming a full on psychological and physical dependence.. I keep myself open to signs, and pray that hopefully I got lucky.

I think the most interesting part is the fact that 6 months ago I had a huge circle of close "friends" who I thought meant the world to me. As a bartender I used to run with the industry scene. Though today I can count my friends on one hand. I know longer have the desire to peek into what's going on with the opening text: "Wanna go get a drink?" I'd rather stay home and spin some house and techno.
Reply With Quote