Thread: Paralysis
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Old 02-03-19, 01:37 AM
LeighWolf LeighWolf is offline

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Re: Paralysis

Originally Posted by DanielGM1970 View Post
I'm guessing your "why" is not strong enough, so the little goals you are setting or lists you are making are not inspiring any real passion in you.

Before you figure out the "how", or how to get to where you want to go, you have to figure out where you want to go! Sit quietly, 15 minutes a day, and just listen to what your deepest desires and wants are and don't ignore them.

Once you know what you REALLY want, instead of what you THINK you want or what other people TELL you you want, you'll have actual motivation to do something besides watch the telly or loll in bed. Trust me, I've been there. I'm still there more often than I like to admit.

An honest and open accounting with yourself, on an ongoing basis, is always needed in life. And please don't give a f--- about what's "realistic" or what others want from or for you.

I think my "why" is getting in the way. Is that possible? I want two things: 1. A well designed plan and 2. A precisely executed defense. And I really want both of those very badly. What I don't want is-just get it done. If someone brings up an odd symptom, tell them to make another appointment or just don't get into it. No time. Move on. Finish the visit. Finish the note. So I "waste" my visit time investigating and planning, and later pay the price of having to formulate a note that describes the whole thing.

OK, so that's being perfectionist. But it is almost embarrassing at this point to return to sloppy work. My notes used to be late and full of mistakes. Now they're late and well done.

Does that happen to people you think? I am able to read and retain more (ongoing study), focus on what people are saying more, and have more initiative. But I've ended up with more work because of it!

So I end up overwhelmed, mired in details and feeling like I should have improved on meds but maybe I didn't because if I did truly improve my work would be caught up. That's when the procrastination sets in. I feel like I am continually reading studies and textbooks because I am-it's so nice to not have to read things over and over. I can read new things too and it's great. But then the busywork piles up. I see that and see the new studies I've printed and guess which task I'm going to choose? And then I justify that choice by telling myself it's a worthy thing to do. I suppose it doesn't matter how "worthy" a task is if your job demands you don't indulge in it, huh?

Last edited by LeighWolf; 02-03-19 at 01:55 AM.. Reason: Did I miss the point?
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