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Old 10-25-09, 08:10 PM
wendyanne41 wendyanne41 is offline

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How does Adult ADD/ADHD affect the male sex drive?

When Mike and I decided to turn our relationship into a serious one and move in together, I was very honest about the fact that I have a high sex drive and that sex would be an important factor in our relationship. He told me he was the same way (this was long before I came to realize he had this illness). Our sex life was explosive right from the start...always more than satisfying for the both of us, it really blew our doors off every single time we made love. It was several times a week for the first several months (we have lived together for a year now). But, over the past few months the frequency has drastically reduced. It is very rare anymore to have sex more than once a week. The passion and the intensity is still as strong as ever when we do make love, in fact, it seems to keep getting better, but it seems like I am always the one that has to initiate it. A lot of the time I even feel like he really doing it just to appease me, and I can't stand feeling like that. I know he loves me, he bought me a huge engagement ring last month and he actually more loving and affectionate towards me than he was when we first got together, but I have a hard time getting him in the mood. There are also times when we will be right in the middle of getting hot and heavy and he will just stop and start talking about some random, trivial thing that has nothing to do with anything and I have to start all over again. We only get to spend time together on the weekends since he drives a truck and is gone M-F, and when he's here he spend most of the weekend manic, freaking out about all of the stuff he needs and wants to get done before he leaves again on Sunday night. And of course, very little actually ends up getting done. He will spend hours on the internet all weekend, and hardly any time doing things with me, and I know that it is not intentional, he just has no perception of time. Then he can't figure out why nothing ever gets done! I've tried to talk to him about it a couple of times and it gets better for a while but he always falls back into it. It's to the point I hate to say anything because I want want him to feel like I am nagging him. But if I don't say anything then nothing changes. He refuses to take medication or go to a doctor for this but is willing to work with me on changing the behaviors. But, I just do not know what to do. I love him and I don't want to leave him but if this does not start getting better I am not going to be able to stay with him. Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
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