View Single Post
Old 07-24-09, 02:16 PM
NekoGirl's Avatar
NekoGirl NekoGirl is offline

Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 309
Blog Entries: 32
Thanks: 228
Thanked 129 Times in 89 Posts
NekoGirl has a spectacular aura aboutNekoGirl has a spectacular aura about
Angry Just missed my !*#@ ADD appointment

I can't believe how upset I am... I missed my appointment I'd been waiting on for about three weeks. I was supposed to see a counselor who had experience dealing with ADD. Irony of ironies, I missed the f'ing appointment. I had SOMEHOW gotten it into my head that the appointment was at 2pm, when I had it written down in THREE DIFFERENT highly organized places that I should be there by 12:45. Three!

How do I do this to myself, over and over? I was just sitting here knitting, wasting time away, when I could have been at my damn appointment. Why didn't I just LOOK at my sched book- that's what the h*ll it's there for!!!!

I feel like I'm trying, I'm running and running, but only in circles. It simply just does not occur to me to do things such as check on time. I can want to, I can remind myself to, but sometimes I just don't, and I really feel I have no control over it. I've tried in vain to control my symptoms for years, I'm working to be better... that's why I know it's not just a willpower thing, because I've tried for so long, and I can't even succeed at things I enjoy doing. How I'd love to be unproductive just because I felt like it! How nice to have the bloody choice!

Sometimes I just want to stop all this. I just want to be normal, instead of frantic, foggy, absent-minded. I want to be there for people in my life, how can I do that if I'm like this?

Ok I'm going to end this rant before it spills over more... just really unhappy with myself right now...
RX: Vyvanse 20mg (High EPA Fish Oil, Vit D)
DX: ADHD-PI at age 12, now mid-20's : Same sh*t, different age

"The back of the class is where I was / Keeping quiet, playing dumb..."
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to NekoGirl For This Useful Post:
APSJ (07-24-09)