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Old 10-21-05, 11:37 AM
pith30 pith30 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Rhode Island
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I have been in the illusion of love before, a few times but that was only because these women feel in love with the artistic, sensitve me and then somtimes even years later couldent accept the rest of who i was all along. I feel for it time and time again because it is an ego boost for someone to say that they care about you. I am not innocent but i let them walk all over me because i wasent strong enough to be alone and suppressed everyting that i could to keep them around. Just recently, for the first time i started with all of my insecurities, fears, past ****, and low self estem and expected that person to run but it was better than faking it again. I never belived that i could find someone like this but she accepts those traits and knows (and made me realize) that i wouldent have the good traits that i do if i had never had to deal with the pain of my past. I learned that its ok, that i am trying and thankfully I now have someone who can see all of me and acceept and even Love me. Now comes that great fear of saying the wrong thing or screwing it up but that is a chance that i am finally able to take.
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