Thread: Hi Mom <3
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Old 02-27-18, 01:11 AM
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Re: Hi Mom <3

Hi mom
I'm just calling to see how things are going. To check in.

Haven't checked in on you and dad in awhile now.
Not too long ago, I checked in everyday by phone. If not by phone, I'd be at your house hanging out with you.

I miss doing that. Just being there with you. You on the couch, me at the table. You'd record dozens of tv shows on your DVR...haha I really think you were borderline addicted to tv...but hell, there's far worse things right?
But you ALWAYS made sure to record shows that you think I'd enjoy with you. I don't enjoy much tv...I haven't had cable tv in my apartment in many years, and I really don't miss it. Most tv bores me to tears.
Yet you somehow managed to always have a few things we could watch together.
And I enjoyed it. I don't think I enjoyed the tv so much as I just enjoyed being with you. Sure it was boring...but still, we were together and we weren't fighting...and so it was good.

I'm sorry to hear that dad's being a a** to you as usual. I never confronted you on this while you were around. To be honest with you mom, you don't take being confronted well. But...and this may well **** you right off...but, you aren't very good to dad either.
I know, I know. It's hard to live with him, and all that. Believe me...I KNOW.
But dang...you're pretty damned hard on him and I think you play a big role in his depression.

But I don't want to start a fight with you tonight mom. Oh lord how we can go at it!

My group is going well. It's 3 days a week as you know, and 2 hour sessions. I kinda wish it was 5 days a week and was 3 or 4 hours per session. . .I'm enjoying having something to do in my life...and feeling productive. Plus I really feel like I contribute a lot to the group. It's nice.

Have you got anything going on right now?
lol...how many cupcakes did you just say you baked today? 36?!...okay well first things first...I'm hopping in my car right now and will be there in 5 minutes! Hope you have milk!!! (which I KNOW you will...cause dang, you were great at keeping you and dad's cupboard and fridges stocked...lol you're the only person I know who has 2 full sized fridges in their kitchen).
And second...why'd you make them?
Awww...that's so nice! lol...you're going to take them to the children's museum in town...just as a random nice thing to do!
You do that so much. You're so well known for it around town. Random acts of kindness. You just surprise people with these things. And you're so gracious about it. Never expecting anything in return. A warm thank you and an occasional loving hug is all you ever want really.

I don't say this to you much mom...but...

I love you. I love you SO much!

And I miss you.
I miss being able to call you. I miss my daily check ins with you. I don't miss our fights...we were a pretty dysfunctional family all in all...but dang, we were best friends in between the fights haha.
I do know in my heart that even though I didn't word it nearly enough...that you knew fully that I loved you. That I loved being with you in our good times. Loved doing things with you.

You are such a special person mom.
Thanks for letting me check in with you tonight.
I've been thinking about you a lot. Not a day goes by...there's a lot of pain I still feel. You broke my heart mommy . I don't understand how this happened. I miss my life with you...things were so much simpler back then.

I love you mom. I hope you have a good night.
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