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Old 11-10-17, 01:20 PM
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Re: Do I need to label him?

Thanks for your thoughtful replies.

As I am reading these books that my therapist recommended, I am seeing some patterns in the men in my life. My therapist believes that my father and ex-husband were narcissists and I think she is trying to help me to avoid dating these types of men. Maybe that is why she wants me to be angry? in a way it is helpful to read, as I want to be able to see the red flags and avoid these types of men, but Im still having a hard time getting angry.

With my father and my ex-husband, I have come to a point where I just pity them. I am not angry, just shocked and sickened by what they did to me, but I feel like being angry or vengeful is useless..arent they already suffering enough. My father was an alcoholic and extremely verbally abusive...I grew up constantly hearing how worthless I was and all other kind of bad names that I probably cant list here. I guess eventually I believed that he really hated women and there was seriously something wrong with his head.

this current guy is not like my father...he was really sweet and gentle initially, but became "abusive" in a different way, by being passive-aggressive and ignoring me. My therapist says that he is a covert narcissist. apparentlly by dad and ex were overt narcissists. Im just confused as I try to work this out in my head. Also, my has ADHD and is unmedicated and I dont think he did half of the things that he did on purpose...I honestly believe he was just very forgetful and impulsive and made poor judgments...He also works alot and is always running around. He was not a good match for me cause he was triggering me...I have abandonment issues.

Or maybe Im a fool and he is a Narcissist who does this deliberately (seduces women then dumps them). Its hard for me to put him in the same catagory as my father and ex-husband...Is he really a selfish person or just really struggling? How can I be angry at someone who is just having a hard time in life and maybe he wants a relationship, but has a hard time connecting?

Last edited by peripatetic; 11-10-17 at 01:49 PM.. Reason: added paragraph breaks to ease reading, no other edits
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