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Old 10-27-16, 11:28 PM
grinningsoul grinningsoul is offline
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Re: helping him stick to something

Quote:
Originally Posted by dvdnvwls View Post
Saying he wants to change things, saying he hates the way he is now, feeling guilty for not doing better - all of those can come straight from trying to please you, and might have nothing to do with how he really feels.
If I could be adding to the problem, that is one thing. But I'm really sure he had this problem before we started dating. Seriously dude. I'm being honest here. He has told me about his past and his depression. There's a possibility that he does things to please me, but not on the large scale you are thinking about.

Quote:
What you've ended up doing is exactly like "mansplaining", except it's "normal-splaining". The assumptions behind what you're saying are not accurate because you don't know enough about what it's like to be him.
This makes sense. That's good feedback. If you have a specific example of how to talk about this stuff without normalsplaining it, I'd like to hear it.
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