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Old 11-08-18, 02:31 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Originally Posted by willow129 View Post
Parent wants to know why I sat him out. I teach 8 classes on Tuesdays. I think I remember, but I'm not sure I remember exactly what happened. I think that it started with him running across the room with a drum, and I told him, go back and walk and do that safely please, he ran again (he understood, he thought it was funny), and I said, go back and *walk*, reminder to follow directions. And I don't remember what was next, but, that's where it started.
Oh man willow I do not look forward to something like that when my time comes. Hopefully with older kids for me it will be different. Since you kind of remember I would say something like " So and so ran across with an instrument twice after I asked him to walk and not only could he have tripped but he could have dropped and damaged an instrument." I would assure her (be condescending in your head) anyone who does this in the class has the same thing happen to them or something along those lines. That is where I would start first. Not following directions breaks a class rule right?

I know he didn't sit out for the whole class....She questions whether or not his behavior was actually inappropriate for someone his age.
Whether or not its age appropriate is not the point. Its age appropriate for 2 year olds to bite but you do not let them get away with that do you?

I can say that in general the student imitates the 2 kids in the class who DO have conditions that impact learning - not crazy severe or anything, but they can manifest in ways that look kind of behavioral or kind of silly, and it's difficult and we're still trying to figure out what to do for them. But they'll do their thing, and he will copy them. He is seeing what will happen if he does that. He has also copied me, like, I had a cough a couple weeks ago, and he was imitating me coughing...and then he was imitating a girl in the class who had a cough later on, like, in a making fun of kind of least that's how it seemed to me, and the aid too. (I told him what he was doing was rude obviously, and had him apologize.)
If you really want to be a stickler that is technically bullying. Maybe not with you or the aid but imitating students with disabilities in order to make a spectacle of yourself or them isn't ok. Most schools have a zero tolerance. Under normal circumstances with parents that do not feel their child is entitled to special treatment it would be a non issue but since your judgement is being called into question I feel like its a valid point.

That particular thing surprised me. I'm making him sound kind of horrible, he's actually not, but he's absolutely testing his boundaries right now. And beside those 2 kids, the rest of the kids in the class, *including* this child, don't have any issues to impede learning or ability to follow directions. And, all the other kids in the class (aside from the 2 with the learning/behavioral concerns) except for her child, DO actually follow my directions. So, like, yeah, if I didn't think his behavior was inappropriate, I wouldn't give him reminders and I wouldn't have him sit out.
Imagine a kid who is allowed to do this and continues with the boundary pushing as they get older..the boundaries are naturally pushed more and more and the behaviors change to much bigger things. These kids end up in high school and then what? Drugs and alcohol? Hard core bullying? No respect for authority? THAT is what impedes their learning.

It feels horrible that she is questioning my judgement. And I feel kind of insulted. And I feel defensive. And, considering the politics involved as well, I think it's inappropriate for her to write something like this. I'm not treating him any differently than I would treat any other kid. She says she wants me to email her every time I sit either of her 2 kids out. She says she feels collecting data is helpful.
Do you mean school politics as in this woman is connected to the school or PTA somehow? or politics within the staff? I would offer to compromise and this is what I asked of my son's teacher at this age. (He had adhd severe and some other stuff). I provided a notebook and everyday the teacher would write a little blurb about how the day went, listed any actions out of the norm, repeated the homework and dated it. I would write back if I had any questions or needed to pass a message to the teacher. My son would give his teacher the notebook at the beginning of class and it would either be sent home everyday or every few days or once a week. This will protect you and her...and this is only if YOU feel that in order to protect yourself you need to be accountable to her special snowflake. I would avoid email at all costs and opt for phone calls if necessary. You can convey more and maintain control of the conversation if you talk and you will hear her tone and get a better understanding of what her agenda is.
Its a true balancing act. Attending to the needs of all students and keeping order. Would she rather her son get sent to the office everytime? I think not.
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sarahsweets For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (11-08-18), midnightstar (11-08-18), willow129 (11-09-18)