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Old 12-11-18, 08:42 PM
Drogheda98 Drogheda98 is offline
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Re: vivid, but not real memories

sometimes it's important to get grounding in trusting our own intuition even if the memory isn't precise, precise enough.

our own narratives of the past often come up in who we are right now. there was memory I had as a kid when I couldn't really remember if I was the catcher at a baseball game or the batter, but I remember distinctly getting knocked out, on the ground.

with a concussion those types of memories can be distorted, because I can remember playing the catcher in baseball and also being the home-run hitter in baseball. however, for the life of me, I can't recall if I was hit in the head with a bat as catcher or beamed with the baseball. ever sense I've been scared of getting hit in the head (well, as I think anyone should), however the fear from that moment in time left me over-defensive. I would constantly recall myself saying stuff about concussions even though I know the only time I could of ever had a concussion was from that one time (one of the ones).

so to close the feedback loop I decided that I was beamed. the memory might not be completely accurate however, a memory that is 20 years old never will be, so to get over my fear of that particular moment and stop the feedback loop I just decided to wright a narrative over that moment, picking whichever memory seemed right to myself. and it worked.
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