View Single Post
Old 08-12-17, 11:02 AM
acdc01 acdc01 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3,129
Thanks: 2,931
Thanked 4,009 Times in 2,064 Posts
acdc01 has disabled reputation
Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

Hope you are holding up ok anonymouslyadd.

I get the feeling that your pseudo boss and you just have different ideas on how to do things and you'll never be able to convince her on your ways.

If it was one of your other coworkers coming up with these different ideas you have like the cards, would she agree to them or is she singling you out on this?

If she fundamentally believes your approach is wrong, I think you'd be better off looking for another job or figure out a way for you to be able to do things her way without it taking away your happiness.

Also, it sounds like she plays the exact same role my official boss does. He can't fire me directly either. He has authority to direct the actions of our group, meaning he can direct my actions too. If I don't do as he says, I'm undermining his authority. He might then make a request to a higher up to have me fired. If he made that request 99% chance I'd be fired regardless of good performance. They would value him over me and they would not keep someone who doesn't respect authority. Is it the same for you?

If so, I'd do everything as she requests for now with a smile and compliment her ideas that you do think are good. If you at all suspect she wants to have you fired already, I'd look for another job just in case. Sorry don't want to put more stress on you, like I said, I can't see your situation so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

If you are stressing out over this, I'd definitely try to relax. Not good for your health and easier to make rash decisions when we are calm.

Sorry, I wish I could give better advice but it does sound like you are in a tough spot. Take care.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to acdc01 For This Useful Post:
anonymouslyadd (08-15-17), stef (08-12-17)