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Old 07-12-18, 04:44 PM
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Re: How do you stop caring about what others think of you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greyhound1 View Post
Once my anxiety switches to anger, I could care less about what they think of me. I tend to falsely believe they think very poorly of me and Iím done. After an honest attempt to make a good impression my feelings change to ďif they donít think well of me then F themĒ.

Itís not a good method ďto not careĒ but thatís the progression I go through.
It starts out as a thought process something similar to CBT.

No, Greyhound, you are actually onto something there. One way is to think logically about it. Who is this person and why do I feel they have the right to judge me? The answer is probably, they don't, it's just some smuck. We know from studies that people pay way less attention to you than you think. I'm too lazy to go find one right now but you can search for them if you want validation. Then how well do they know you? Is this someone you casually talk to at work? Well they don't even have a good basis to judge you anyway. A clerk you'll never see again? Someone you don't interact with often? Most people don't know the real you and few people would know the real you as a whole.Why should you care? Really why should you care? What effect does it have on you? Does it change anything about the person you know you are? No. So basically you use a thought process to end up at "If they don't think well of me then f- them". The only exception is people who sign your paycheck. Try to look good in front of them.

I would like to say I very rarely care what someone thinks of me (unless it's getting in my way, then it ****** me off and I'll do something about it). I skip the thought process and just say f- 'em. I would like to note that I do NOT think very highly of myself. I'm extremely extremely tough on myself. I have grown accustomed to myself and accepted most of it so that's all you really need. It doesn't mean you think you are a shining star of a person. So how you see yourself and how others see you are two different things and they may not always match up. Or, if someone gives me sh- about something and I know I could do better at it I say 'f- 'em' just to spite them. If nothing else use the frustration to make yourself better. We are never really "the best" at anything so we have room to improve. So if you must be concerned use it in a positive manner.

Small addition to the post. I sorted most of this out a long time ago by meditating over it if you want an actual method. I'd let my mind run wild but confront it with questions that it could rarely offer any meaningful answer to. It's a process of exclusion. I couldn't find any explanation to actually support my theory that everyone hated me so I was a bad person nor could I find any meaningful effect on me to want to care about it. Even now I have some people who are getting in my way because they don't think highly of me but I'm dealing with that. And it doesn't include making them like me any more.

I'm very blunt and straightforward. I speak my mind. Some people love that, some hate it. I'm a take it or leave it kind of person. I have plenty of people who straight up don't like me. And I'm fine with that. They can even start a club for all I care. Just as long as they don't screw with my life they can do whatever they please. F- 'em.

Last edited by LyrinMeow; 07-12-18 at 04:50 PM.. Reason: Adding methods used
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