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Old 01-10-17, 08:55 AM
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Re: Challenging weeks like these tend to be packed full of potential lessons

Quote:
Originally Posted by acdc01 View Post
How are you feeling jacksper? We're you stressed out of your mind this whole week, feeling bad about yourself even though logically you know you shouldnt.

What I'm asking is whether you already logically knew these lessons but biology is overwhelming logic making 8t so you can't stop panicking anyway? If your reasons for feeling this way are biological, are there meds you can take that can help logic win the fight over biology?

Glad you got to spend some time with your brother. Hope this week isnt too common and future weeks are easier.
I am feeling great again acdc! This week was actually a turning point for me. I feel I learned more in this week, than in some previous years. Last week I had another week that was this full of lessons, but that week I felt more positive (so an experience doesn't always have to be tough to be valuable).

My new mindset is much more positive. To describe it in full, I would need to type a long story. Maybe another time . But let me illustrate it by some really practical examples. I have started cooking again, something I wanted to do for ages but I never found the discipline. I decided to see it as a way to "honor" my body, to take good care of myself and as an activity that can be interesting/fulfilling in itself. This really works for me. Not only have I started cooking again, I actually enjoy everything about it. This allows me to sustain this change.

I have also changed the way I see exercising, working, doing chores, etc. It's no longer something that I try to "force" myself to do, something negative, an obligation. It's a way to celebrate life.

Another change I made is how I approach challenges. Every day (when I remember to), I try to do something that is hard. Something that I fear. My (positive) motivation is that I know in advance it's almost always very fulfilling. Last week I went on a date. It was scary at first (it's a long time ago since I dated), but I really liked it and it has expanded my horizons. Now I can do it more often, because I no longer fear it as much.

Also, I also have changed my views about habits. I always tried to do daily habits literally every day, and when (for whatever reason) I couldn't, it would be very likely that I would give up that habit completely, which is a total waste of all the energy that I put into building it. Now I no longer care about doing it daily, I try to find a way to get drawn into doing it (like I described above with the cooking). If I skip a day, it's not a problem, I don't have to "punish" myself, the most important thing is to do it the next day. Habits are a tool to get things done easier, they are not a goal in themselves.

Finally, I have gotten a better grip on my negative self-talk. Of course I still do it every now and then (being human; I see it as normal), but now I have a counter-voice in my head that defends me. It appears like a reflex. This helps me to self-soothe quickly and continue what I was doing (sometimes after a short break), instead of giving up and getting lost in feelings of shame and guilt.

We have spoken of this before acdc, but mindset really makes a lot of difference. To me, I would now say that my #1 issue (why I struggled so much in the past) was not ADD, but it was a mindset that wasn't working. Basically, I was too harsh for myself. Not saying ADD wasn't a factor, I can see how these two issues easily lead to a negative feedback cycle.

Anyways, I find it fascinating to experience how much of our reality can be shaped by our thoughts.

What do you think about this topic? Do you recognize these changes in mindset?
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