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Old 03-02-19, 05:59 AM
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tudorose tudorose is offline
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Re: I think I have figure out the core wound (well my core wound)

The hardest thing to come to terms with is accepting that she doesn't love you because she is incapable of love. That really really hurts. And it wasn't just her I've had to accept that about the rest of my family too. One sister only wants me around to be the scapegoat and the other one has always recruited me to stand up to the other one only to throw me under the bus continually. Then lately even last week the nephew in law and niece sent in as flying monkeys. How dare I leave and hurt everyone don't I know that I'm there to be their scapegoat? After all mother dear did say it was in God's plan for me to take everyone's abuse - yea that was really said.

You likely have no boundaries because you were raised not to. That would be too risky that you might develop a sense of self.

Do you really love her? How can you love someone who abused you? These are the questions I've had to ask myself about all my family members.

We all have choices. I could have become like them but I chose not to. Instead of making my niece the scapegoat when I could this taking the pressure off me I protected her. I took the abuse for her. I will never pass that on that generation crap stopped with me.

My sister is a chameleon. She lives in a polygamous harem. She tried to convince me I was gay. There's nothing wrong with being gay. It's just that I'm not gay. I'm not wired that way. Her identity adapts to whoever she wants to fit in with.

My other sister is a bully. She cannot live without a scapegoat. She's never matured.

There is no core wound mate
There are many wounds

I'm not trying to crush you here just trying to help you accelerate the process

1. She is incapable of loving you.
2. You need to go no contact
3. You may to go no contact with your entire family
4. You need to go no contact with anyone who is used by her as a flying monkeys.
5. If you can't go no contact yet you need to go grey rock.
6. You need to learn boundaries.
7. You need to let them go.
8. You need to get to a place where you don't feel love or hate for them. Just acceptance.
9. You need to protect yourself from hovering. Read Luke 173 ministries hovering 101 and no contact 101. On Google.
10. You need to accept that you cannot save any of them.

I'm still working on a lot of the above!!!!
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