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Old 08-11-08, 12:51 AM
MECMR MECMR is offline
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Re: Growing out of AD/HD?

Life is about adapting. I think if you can learn to adapt and function and be happy, it is wonderful. Perhaps, as you get older and exposed to more possibilities, you can learn better ways to adapt.

However, there is a difference between learning to do something different and "outgrowing" it. In my opinion, the difference is if you still struggle. Do you have to fight to do what you want? Are you still worried that you might have missed something? Are others still pointing out to you that you are having difficulties?

The bipolar reference is a good example. It's a condition which can change over time, and go for long periods with few symptoms. However, the person WITH it feels everything, even if they are managing it to the outside world. ADD can be like that, I think. Nobody may see the behavior as anything but "quirky", but the person dealing with it may be fighting through every moment to stay focused.

I thought I had ADD years ago, and told a few people. I thought it explained all of my internal battles. Those I told thought I was ridiculous, because all they saw was what my struggles have accomplished. "You would NEVER have done XYZ if you REALLY had ADD." I never would have gotten through college and grad school, gotten promoted to a job with responsibility, planned a wedding or a trip to Europe, managed a household, had any friends. It took a long time before I realized that noone realized how hard any one piece of those things was for me.

Now I know better. I wasn't wrong about having it. I was wrong to think I was "whining" about things being hard. The truth is, they WERE hard. The trust is, as I get older, some aspects get easier to manage, and some get harder.

And, in all truth, it does not matter what other people think. What matters is what I know. I know what is hard and what is easy today, or tomorrow...or an hour from now. One day, when somebody tells me to "grow out of it", I will turn around and thell them snapping at somebody and critiquing them is soooooooooooooo adolescent...and they need to "grow up".
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