Thread: She left
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Old 05-31-18, 12:39 AM
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Re: She left

UPDATE:
So two weeks ago she showed up literally on her knees. She'd been kicked out of the house she was at and been homeless for a couple of days. She was crying. We let her in and she went on about how horrible she was and how she wanted to die and been off her meds. She honestly looked strung out. We decided that we couldnt let her stay out of concern for her safety and ours. Husband took her to the psyche ER and got her admitted. She's been inpatient since then. She admitted to doing drugs but wont cop to anything more than alcohol and weed. I know there has been other stuff and she forgets that she as told me in the past. We were trying to get her to try this residential duel diagnosis program so she could finish high school and at first she insisted she didnt have a problem and didnt need substance abuse treatment. Then she agreed but actually managed to do school work so she will get her diploma and therefore aged out of the program we were looking at.

She knows she isnt ready to come back here and we know we arent ready for it either. Since she has been inpatient she has been working on the substance issues and is a candadite for rehab. She is leaving for FLORIDA tomorrow. I vetted the place and so did the school so its not one of those revolving door rehab farms that are so prevalent in Florida. It will be at least 30 days and they help get her into a halfway house after. Its funny...I know in my gut she doesnt really want to move home. Despite the chaos and train wreck that things became, she really does want some kind of independence. I think she wants the benefits of a close family with the freedom of living on her own and maybe acting out was her way of escaping. From a recovery standpoint she is talking the talk, saying all the right things. But its easy to stay sober in the hospital where everything is controlled. The real world is where it gets hard.

I am trying not to get my hopes too high because it will hurt so much if they get dashed. I want her to be the woman she is supposed to be. If you have to F up, now is the time to do it before you have life responsibilities.
I want to allow myself to express love for her. I mean I love her but am so gun shy, 2 months of hell is a lot to go through not knowing if your kid is safe. I went and saw the woman who kept her because she threatened to throw her stuff in the dumpster. I bit my tongue and did so well not engaging and just got her sh*t and put it in my trunk. I still need to go back one more time and then I can plot my revenge, lol JK.
I hope we are doing the right thing but we dont have much choice in it. The insurance is covering it all thank god.
Thanks to all of you for being so kind. Keep the encouraging words and thoughts coming.

xxxooo
-sweets
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