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Old 04-18-17, 04:07 AM
Letching Gray Letching Gray is offline
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Re: Sex and love addiction part 2

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermus View Post
Well, maybe for you your addiction was caused by a lack of shame. I think for me there always has been a lot of shame and guilt around sex. There has always been this feeling that there was something wrong with me. So the remedy for that is to again view sexual desires as problematic, to try to deny and repress my sexuality as being a part of me? I don't see how that is going to help.

I'm just trying to find a way to deal with me being a sexual human being, like most people, while being abstinent and the only answers I get are: You don't need that. Just act like you don't have any sexual feelings.
Hermus, you've hit on one of the things that makes SLAA recovery so difficult. I can't repress my sexuality and withdraw from it at the same time. I have to feel my drives in full force and not act out on them to withdraw from their power to get well. I can't ignore them or exercise them away or drink or sleep or eat them away, or push them down or try to bury them. Not if I want to recover. And, most of us can refrain from certain behaviors for a stretch. Some longer than others. We can use all kinds of tools to get through a patch.

But, that isn't recovery. And shame? Hermus, that's what the Steps are for, to make right what I can, to admit my shameful behavior, my whole life. Having had an awakening as the result of these steps, we help others. It is not about suppressing. It is about facing them, ourselves with everything we are, head on, and allowing ourselves to be emptied of our sicknesses and filled back up with health.

Last edited by namazu; 04-18-17 at 04:35 AM.. Reason: No religious discussion on the open forum.
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