View Single Post
  #2  
Old 12-14-17, 12:16 PM
OyVeyKitty's Avatar
OyVeyKitty OyVeyKitty is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Finland
Posts: 168
Thanks: 511
Thanked 426 Times in 156 Posts
OyVeyKitty has much to be proud ofOyVeyKitty has much to be proud ofOyVeyKitty has much to be proud ofOyVeyKitty has much to be proud ofOyVeyKitty has much to be proud ofOyVeyKitty has much to be proud ofOyVeyKitty has much to be proud ofOyVeyKitty has much to be proud of
Re: When you suddenly become the only single friend..?

I don't know about friend #1, she clearly doesn't even care about spending time with you at all, but friend #2 can maybe still be saved. It's entirely possible that she doesn't realize how much she's using you as an emotional outlet because you have been so willing and helpful so far. She's obviously not very socially aware, but if you have had a long friendship before this (you didn't mention how long these friendships have been) and you value that time, the friendship could be worth trying to save.

Next time she starts ranting, try just asking her nicely to stop. "Hey Kate, I know there's a lot going on with your relationship and I don't mind giving you advice or lending an ear sometimes, but I'm feeling a bit left out lately. Do you mind if we talk about something else for a bit?" (It's best if you can also suggest something to do or talk about instead.)

If she's unintentionally pouring all this drama on you, then she'll probably take the hint from there and things will get better. If she still won't get the hint, you might have to be even more clear.

"Kate, when we're hanging out, can we please focus on other things than your relationship?"

I know you're frustrated, but try your best to approach her without using an aggressive tone or in an affronting way, just be polite. If that still doesn't work or she starts an argument over it, then you might actually need to let her go. Either way, some boundaries need to be set here.

Edit: I forgot to add that you need to tell her that it's not OK to call you at night/early in the morning/whatever just because she's distressed over the relationship.

Last edited by OyVeyKitty; 12-14-17 at 12:22 PM.. Reason: Forgot to say something
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to OyVeyKitty For This Useful Post:
EG19682 (12-15-17)