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Old 11-14-09, 05:15 PM
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CptNemo CptNemo is offline
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Re: How to Communicate with Someone Who Has ADD and Doesn't Know It

Hi there

Just wanted to let you know (again) that I thought your post was certainly well-intended,from any perspective.
From my perspective,I think it was more than admirable.

I have found myself many times,trying to help someone who requests a favor,in a predicament where more of my time and resources are needed than I originally expected.

I have helped people that requested my help,then been bitten in the butt because I obliged.

I have been taken advantage of more than once,and a few times have cost me thousands of dollars. I currently have a nice cozy little house with a 'water view' on my property that has been empty for 8 months now.

Not only were the last tenants late on payments,but I actually *paid them* $1400 to move out. Meth was much more important than rent,it turned out. Obviously by this rant,you can see I still haven't gotten over that.

I now go against my natural instincts when asked for help,if there is even a *chance* of it coming back to bite me. I still 'slip' more than I want.

I'll feel really bad for quite awhile,but I have learned that getting taken advantage of and then finding my resources in jeopardy, is an even worse feeling.

Yes,I have also 'helped' people that didn't ask for my help,but seemed to appreciate it when offered.

I'm fairly certain that I have also 'helped' people that did not ask for it, thereby insulting them.

I can't think of any off-hand,but my 'be a good boy scout' mentality combined with my admitted warped perception of NT reality,makes it quite likely.

Perhaps the offended responders have recently been the 'victim' of that, I don't know.

I do know that if your situation is even remotely similar to my rant,your response to their criticism is *much* more civilized than I could have been. It's safe to say that I would have been banned.
I'm trying to work on that issue,and you seem to have mastered it.
I noticed on your profile page that you haven't returned to the forum since those responses. I hope you do return,and see that at least one other person appreciates what you are doing.

Edit-Disclaimer: This response is just as motivated by my gratitude of one of my cousins 'watching out' for my Mom who lived 1.5 hrs away,until she passed.My gratitude for that little assurance and 'peace of mind' that he gave me,knowing he was just minutes away,can never be repaid.
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Last edited by CptNemo; 11-14-09 at 05:18 PM.. Reason: adhd
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