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Old 08-26-16, 04:18 AM
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Re: 19 yr old son playing computer games and not working

Quote:
Originally Posted by clancyfish View Post
The big problem is his playing computer games which he spends all his spare time doing. He shuts himself in his room and plays night and day. He will come out and do his chores when asked and go straight back to his room.
The intense focus that some of us can get regarding things we like is sometimes referred to as 'hyperfocus'. Personally, I find hyperfocus to be an impairment because I cant control it and it usually keeps me occupied with stuff I dont need to be doing.

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We've tried turning off the internet, threats, encouragement, sports etc. They work for a while and then he turns back to his computer. When he games he becomes non communicative and angry.
What did he do when you turned of the internet?

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My husband and I are at our wits end. We feel like kicking him out but he has no job and no money to support himself. We are in our early 60s and sick of this constant intensive parenting.

Is anyone else experiencing this situation?

Any ideas or help would be gratefully appreciated.
I hear what you are saying about being at your wits end. You said that you are sick of intensive parenting? Well, kids with adhd are 30% less mature than their peers which means your son is around 14 mentally. A child with adhd will require longer parenting IMO, in fact I plan on parenting until the kids dont need it anymore. My son is 20, diagnosed when he was 3.5 and he very much needs me. There is no way I could think of kicking him out at this point nor do I need or want to.

Being a parent has no end IMO, and you will be needed and relied upon for years. I am not sure what you mean by being sick of intensive parenting.
If you mean you are sick of him not having any goals then maybe he needs to see a therapist. And maybe he needs to see his doctor about his meds.

Sometimes too high of a dose can cause the intense focus you are talking about. Your son has a brain disorder, a disability. Expecting him to act and live like a typical kid will only lead you to be disappointed.
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