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Old 10-10-16, 12:16 PM
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ginniebean ginniebean is offline
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Re: 19 yr old son playing computer games and not working

He's 19 and most likely shut down. He's aware he's supposed to be an adult starting his life but in my experience also fully aware he's not ready even if he doesn't know why. The maturational curve for kids with adhd is much slower please take this into account. He could be as ready as a 14 yr old to make his way in life. You look at him and see a 19 yr old but inside he's likely much younger. i think the hardest time for people with adhd are these years. It's likely the pressure he fears from the outside is matched and possibly exceeded by the pressure he feels so he's escaping.

My suggestion is a very honest heart to heart about how he feels about his readiness. This is a talk that requires he make himself vulnerable in an eztreme way so there has to be listening. He will need help getting a resume and looking for a job. He may go thru many jobs because young people with adhd act "wierd" and that can make for tense work situation and many will bail. That is to be expected. This is so common because it is very much the trajectory of adhd in a peraons life. He needs a lot more help than you can tell just by looking at him . tough love won't make him leap forward maturationally.

im sorry if this is not what you want to hear but it is the reality.
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