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Old 01-12-18, 04:20 PM
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Re: (long rant)...Think my dad's dead to me. :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unmanagable View Post
May there be some spark of willful/mindful/helpful/nurturing momentum/madness among the sorrowful s*** show being currently dealt/felt.
You know...something deep down inside of me can't help but think that in the long run this all very well may be something good for me in the end.

I'll be forced to grow up a bit. I can't rely on my mom and dad anymore. I'll just have to be more careful.
It might even eventually break me out of my nest I've built myself and have me exploring for employment opportunities again. Not right now. Certainly something to be open to though.

And let's face it...my dad hasn't been a healthy part of my life in many years.
This sucks...I want my dad back...but I think after this shock, after some time...I'll find that maybe I'm not losing my dad so much as I'm being freed.
I do love him. Please don't get me wrong. I think I've given him more consistent and forgiving love then anyone but his mom in his life.

.......

Fuzz-Fuzz had some great advice to me the other day that I've been thinking about a lot. I really liked it.
Don't think about it. The big picture stuff. The future and all the overwhelming stuff that I'm losing with the loss of my dad.
Just make it through now. I just need to get through a day at a time right. Focus on the here and the immediate. Make sure I'm fed for the day and have a roof over my head.

I'm glad I got to come vent about this here on addf finally. lol it's been scary being without this place over this last week!
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The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
acdc01 (01-12-18), Fuzzy12 (01-12-18), midnightstar (01-12-18), namazu (01-12-18), Unmanagable (01-12-18)