Interviews, adhd, and social anxiety
I'm nearing the end of my master's degree, and have started applying for work (as a teacher). At the same time, I'm in the middle of being screened for adhd (oh god, all the tests...). I have severe social anxiety and very probably adhd, but I've never been treated for either. My anxiety hits the roof by something so simple as a telephone call. How on earth am I going to manage interviews? While my psychologist is on my case, as it were, and the process is moving along (as it has been for almost a year), there's no chance that I'll be getting any kind of meaningful treatment soon enough, so I'll have to get a job in my full, un-medicated glory.
I'm very shy, and the anxiety isn't helping. Oral exams are torture to me, and interviews aren't much better. I've landed jobs through interviews before, but only typical part-time student jobs, like cashier or cleaning, where there's much turnover and not much responsibility. And there's of course the point that I didn't have so much anxiety then.
On top of all the socially awkwardness, I don't have any self-confidence at all. This makes it VERY hard for me to give people the impression that they should hire me, because I would never hire myself to do anything I somehow need to be able to at least fake belief in my own abilities, and present this in an interesting way. I asked a friend to list my positive sides when I started writing applications, so this gave me something to work from, at least. But the knowledge that I have, deep inside, of my always being able to mess things up in new and er interesting ways, cripples me. All the good sides about me are conditional - I'm dedicated, creative, and work hard - as long as I'm interested. If I'm not, I'm the worst worker on earth (and will quite probably fall asleep after a long interval of complaining and moaning). Somehow I don't feel it will go down too well in an interview to say that I'll be the best employee they've ever had, if they only spare me all the dull stuff
So what do I do? I've got an appointment for an interview already, and I'm all jittery just thinking about it. I panicked when they rang, and didn't answer, and had to take at least a couple of hours until I was sufficiently calm to even consider ringing them back.
'I don't know what's happening here, but believe me, I had nothing to do with it.' Captain Jack Harkness
'I don't know how to tune a brain, do you?' Morphine
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