ADD, grief/string emotions and relationships

[Casey]

Hi All,
I'm new on this board; but I'm really glad I found you guys as this is one of my big problem areas in ADD and I am really curious as to how other people begin, survive and thrive in a romantic relationship.
I'd really like to know what others' experiences are
on this.... ADD and processing intense emotions;
especially grief. I have
a very close friend who is also obviously ADD
(undiagnosed) who lost both parents (separately)
within the last 3-4 years. He had to move home last
year to deal with family stuff due to the death. He
thought he'd be wrapped up and back in 6 months and it
is now a year later. It seems as if maybe things are
taking longer because of the undiagnosed ADD. He
always seems to take a longer time to process all
emotions; not just grief. I can tell that he feels
them right away and then it takes a lot of time to
process. My ADD (diagnosed) experience is different; I
experience the emotion and am usually pretty good
about processing the emotion immediately or soon
after. I am a woman though and that might have
something to do with it, women being more conversant
with emotions stereotypically. I know recently though,
when my ADD got worse, I kept having the experience of
"feelings soup." I had several different feelings all
at once and they were muddled and I had no idea about
how I felt about things I was clear about before. I
think he goes through this a lot with feelings; no
matter if they are positive feelings, like happiness
or love or if they are negative feelings like anger or
sadness (not to label a feeling one way or another). I
am really interested in everyone's perspective as
often when I think he and I are not in communication
(he is not very communicative or very communicative-
no in between)and I feel hurt or slighted, it is
because he is processing how he feels about something
and is not ready to communicate. Thanks in advance,
Jesse

[Lipz17]

It could very much so, most men do have a harder time showing feelings or even talk as most of us women love to talk about feelings.So is he just a friend?or someone you are interested in?Im sorry i get losted very easily as well.

[Casey]

We've had a "thing" (friendship and sex) going on for 2 years now. I think after reading the ADD boards and men and grief books, that it is a combination of both. I am curious how people process their emotions when they have ADD. I process quickly, but I feel such intense emotions so easily that it is really hard. Jesse

[Cactus]

Could just be his personality too Jess. It's something that varys from person to person. Some people eat fast, some eat slow. Some people process emotions quickly, some slowly. Could also be that he takes a while for him to get around to telling you about the processing that hes doing/done. And- the death of parents is a BIGGIE. Could take a few years to get through all that. So much of who we are is tied up in who they were and when they're not anymore it really forces a chance in your whole worldview that can take years to fully comprehend.

Just a few random thoughts. Hope it helps.