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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #1  
Old 03-10-12, 10:31 AM
Blueranne Blueranne is offline
 

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Nothing, nothing, nothing, then BANG!!!

I wish I could get over things easier. Pain, hurt, sadness anger last way to damn long. It's weird because I think for most people the level of emotion for each "unit" of pain is like a 1:1 ratio (don't know how else to explain this sorry) but for me it seems like I am not affected very easily, I can put up with a lot from people and events, but then there is kinda a breaking point or a threshold of like "anything beyond this is unforgivable". And after that breaking point is when the emotional wounds come, and they are deep and wide and last almost for ever.

I just wish I could regulate and balance my emotional responses better. I mean on the one hand it's a benefit to be able to not let little things affect you, but I simply don't know how or when to appropriately emote. I don't want to be or feel nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing and then BANG look out because here comes the wicked witch of the west. The BANGs just will not go away.
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Old 03-10-12, 10:44 AM
Blueranne Blueranne is offline
 

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Re: Nothing, nothing, nothing, then BANG!!!

Or maybe it's not nothing, nothing then bang, it kinda feels like that though. Don't get me wrong, I can be overly sensitive to little things too, but I usually forget about them super quick and never look back... Damn this is so weird, hard to explain.

Maybe my main issue is in remembering bad emotions. I forgive and forget very easily, that is, until that threshold is pasted. After that it seems like I simply can not forget or move on.

Does anyone understand what I'm saying?
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  #3  
Old 03-10-12, 10:48 AM
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Re: Nothing, nothing, nothing, then BANG!!!

Yes

I told a friend about this last year... I'm very tolerant, understanding, yada,yada.. but there comes a point when I've reached my limit - and then I just switch off. Once the trust is gone - there's no getting it back...ever.

I don't quite understand it but it's how I'm built.
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Old 03-10-12, 11:24 AM
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Re: Nothing, nothing, nothing, then BANG!!!

Yup, I'm that way as well... hard to get past it, especially when there are non-sympathetic people in life.
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Old 03-10-12, 11:28 AM
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Re: Nothing, nothing, nothing, then BANG!!!

Yup, that's me as well.

Thing is, I have NTer friends who are better at "remembering" to feel slighted, and as much as I suspect that it's healthier that way, I don't want to do it. I like the way that I am. I like that aspect of most of my ADHD buddies. We're easier to be friends with because of it.

At the same time, too, there are certain people who have earned my undying friendship, and there's pretty much nothing that I could imagine them saying or doing that I wouldn't at least forgive them for. I might choose not to be around someone because they're toxic, for example, but I wouldn't be upset with them, if that makes sense.

Blue, I think you should just embrace this aspect of yourself. The "BANG" is you protecting yourself, and you want to keep that. But the "nothing nothing nothing" is a likable trait, so you want to keep that, too.
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Old 03-10-12, 01:01 PM
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Re: Nothing, nothing, nothing, then BANG!!!

yup, same here.

Something my therapist and I have talked about is letting people "hook me" to another time or feeling, this is when I tend to blow my stack. This is confusing for NT's b/c they think their prior bad actions are ok because they got away with them.

The only reasonable solution seems to be is learning awareness when you're feeling "hooked" into another time, and telling them the conversation or whatever is just too much at the moment. Once you get yourself away from them, reflect on the value of the relationship. If it's valuable, go back tell them you aren't comfortable with x, y, and z. Don't explain it, you don't owe them anything. If they value you, then they'll respect it. If they don't, well, screw 'em!

Hope that doesn't sound glib, it all looks so easy when it's written in a couple sentences... but it's not, it's taken me years to just realize I was being "hooked!"
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Old 03-10-12, 03:25 PM
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Re: Nothing, nothing, nothing, then BANG!!!

Replaces blues Bangs for snap pops.
I wish I was like this w out meds every little freaking thing bothers me,I think it has to do w adhd and problems regulating my emotions.I can go on a tirade quick.
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Old 03-10-12, 03:54 PM
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Re: Nothing, nothing, nothing, then BANG!!!

My feelings of resentment are right below the surface.Whatever pain,sadness or anger that I have is in me & I tend to carry it around with me.It takes a lot to make me mad less when it comes to my feelings being hurt.I wish I could just express it then be done with it.Rather than carrying hurt feelings around & then I explode.
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Old 03-10-12, 09:26 PM
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Re: Nothing, nothing, nothing, then BANG!!!

See thats where the problem lies tho.it upsets me to no end to see people getting away w there poor behavior and excuses.
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Old 03-10-12, 09:38 PM
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Re: Nothing, nothing, nothing, then BANG!!!

It's been said before...

Thousands of time...

Thousands of years ago in fact...

Live In the Moment...

Don't Let the Moment Overwhelm You...

My Moment Is I'm Typing This To You

Right Here

Right Now

In This Moment

UR Cool (and HOT )- couldn't resist

Made U Smile

That's All The Reality We Have

later
R
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