Do you know a Vulnerable Narcissist?

[mrs. dobbs]

i wonder if there's a relationship between the self-abandoning avoidant type/behavior and the self-abandonment of narcissism and the dissociation of borderline and or C-PTSD?

[trishcan]

Originally Posted by mrs. dobbs

i wonder if there's a relationship between the self-abandoning avoidant type/behavior and the self-abandonment of narcissism and the dissociation of borderline and or C-PTSD?

That's ultimately my question. I have the behavior. I can't say where it comes from, though C-PTSD and BPD are generally widely overlapping, anyway.

[mrs. dobbs]

yeah, this would bring together several threads-- one of which you originated, another about depersonalization which you posted in and another that shamrock posted about avpd subtypes.... along with what's been written about the cause of narcissistic complexes-- an exiled self.

so maybe at the core, there's some trauma-based self-abandonment mechanism that results in one of more of the various flavors of cluster b. i also have paranoid personality behaviors, and those are pretty narcissistic *and* dependent, i find. but that's because i keep locating myself in others ('they're out to mess me over/they're laughing at me') due to self-abandonment-- something that truly annoys me... because it like in narcissism, it assumes that others are extensions of me. the use of others as mirrors is the use of others as a self in lieu of the self i can't or am too ashamed/terrified to find and use.

and since there can be both significant trauma associated with undiagnosed add & childhood, and an overlap in brain dysfunction with add (e.g. inattentive and self-abandonment) i guess there's also that.

and you picked up on that i feel more comfortable discussing these things as behaviors rather than personality types.

personally, i am relieved to see the 'vulnerable narcissist' type because i have been convinced that i have narcissistic traits without the malignant or empathy-less part. if anything, i can be too empathic and personalizing and find this to be terribly egocentric and dysfunctional... inserting myself into others' emotions and reactions.

[Electra2]

Im thinking about all those who grew up with AD/HD
(or just as well other things,the point is,its makes the person different )
and were hurt dealing with kids that did not understand,
and isolation were not an issue...
Like, if parents couldnt stand seeing a child so...different and misbehaved,lonely...
and forced them outside to play with the others,where they where in turn rejected
/laught at/ bullied/ made fun of / critized so much...
how painfull that must have felt...no where to hide...
the only option is to face it,all the time...feeling rejected and wierd,blamed for things not their fault,feeling hate and failure...

I wonder what happend to those who couldnt take it anymore.
Those who where pushed back outside to face and cope with the "IRL."
I think it might lead to a lot of bad stuff...probably at least a lot more self hate...
and " not very social behaviour ", in one way or another,specially towards sertain people...!!
I think of a narsisisst like a person who becomes...Superman.
(wannabe)
Im not sure if they need to believe in it so much as they need to feel like it.
(grandiousity)
I asked a person behaving like that,they said failure was never an option for them
when they grew up,it was not accepted.
That sort of makes me doubt genetic theories.

[shamrock]

I am not allowed to post a link but if you go to the psych forums . com and look at the narcisstic pd section. There is a thread called covert narcissists and the dating game. There is a really good discussion about vulnerable narcissists there.

[Sir5r1]

My wife has BPD. What I suggest is looking at the DSM-IV it explains a lot but there are plenty of BPD folks with NPD Tendencies and there's a lot of overlap between the cluster B PD's as a whole.

Everyone is different. So much so that the proposed DSM-V actually has placed severity based on the degree someone has these characteristics.

ADHD people are on a continuum as are most every other disorder.

Interesting fact though there are lots of NPD/BPD couples it's a complimentary disorder situation.

The Other combination that's complimentary is BPD/ADHD.

[Blueranne]

Here is another link that I found very interesting.

http://www.examiner.com/article/bord...disorder-males

[pechemignonne]

Originally Posted by Blueranne

Here is another link that I found very interesting.

http://www.examiner.com/article/bord...disorder-males

When did you meet my ex-boyfriend?

[Sir5r1]

Originally Posted by pechemignonne

When did you meet my ex-boyfriend?

See BPD/ADHD. We are attracted to each other!

23 years of this type of relationship for me.

[pechemignonne]

Not everyone with BPD is the same, I'd wager.

My ex was abusive and the relationship was a terrible experience for me.

But I'm glad that you found a way to make your relationship work!

[K-Funk]

oh no, I'm scared that this is me!!!! I have the worst self esteem in the world and constantly feel inferior. When people tell me that I'm actually OK it only very temporarily numbs the pain and I always need more.... I thought I was empathetic but maybe I'm just a narcissist at heart locked into a world of shame and the constant search for approval!!!!

[Blueranne]

I kind of think of PDs in the same way that I think of horoscopes. To some extent it can be easy to pull symptoms out of the diagnostic criteria and be able to see ourselves or others in that discription. But of course that doesnt mean that a PD diagnosis is correct.

[avjgirsijdhtjhs]

Originally Posted by Blueranne

Here is another link that I found very interesting.

http://www.examiner.com/article/bord...disorder-males

Her site is gettinbetter.com. It has tons of awesome BPD articles, and also articles on other stuff that I can't comment on because I haven't read many of them.

[Blueranne]

Cool thanks! I'll check it out tonight.

[avjgirsijdhtjhs]

Originally Posted by Blueranne

Cool thanks! I'll check it out tonight.

I wasn't aiming that directly at you, Blueranne, just an FYI.

Oh, and I also just realized that Shari Schreiber didn't write the article that you linked. She was just quoted at the top of the article and I mistook it for her having written the article.