Please Help Me!!!

[Kamina369]

Please bare with me on this, it might take a while to tell and I have trouble remembering every detail, but this has been worrying me for a while now and I really need advice and help.

But before I begin I should let you know that I have been diagnosed with both ADHD and High-functioning Autism. Because Autism has some aspects of OCD, this will deal with intrusive thoughts as well as the possible conflict of ADHD and OCD like symptoms against each other. Also at the time the incident I'm telling you happened I just went back on my pills, (Metadate CD, now it's two doses of dextroamphetamine).

One night last summer I was waiting outside a friend's house for my parents to pick me up from a Dungeons & Dragons session. While I was waiting there was a man sitting in a car across the street. I got an intrusive thought that it was possible he was waiting to kill someone, but it went away. I had actually been worrying about a lot of stuff during the week, possibly due to being back on my pills. Then the man in the car asked if one of my friends was still in the house, (I think it was her dad) and I said yes, then he asked if I could go and get her I said sure. But while doing that, an intrusive thought popped in my mind that he wanted me to get her so that he could kill her. I snapped out of it while walking back, and was really worried because I didn't react to those thoughts in any way. Meaning that I (somewhat) believed he was going to kill her, I agreed to bring her out and my brain must have been too muddled to fully comprehend or process it, sense I was both thinking, listening and talking at the same time (at least as I remember it).

So what I'm asking is, does this make me a dangerous person, should I voluntarily commit myself or should I just keep taking my pills (I'm in a trial and error process with pills) and not worry about it? I'm not a violent person, except when my brother is bothering me, but I don't want to be violent or cold, and I don't want to harm anyone.

[trishcan]

Despite the confusion, I think your brain likely recognized that the intrusive thought "he's going to kill her" was irrational and disregarded it functionally while it remained within your conscious thought. But really, I have no idea what I'm talking about.

[Lisa_Mac]

Is it possible that you realised that this thought was irrational and that your friend was quite safe. I've had intrusive thoughts before of a violent nature, and I've pushed them out as quickly as possible, because on a logical level, I knew that they were not true. It's very distressing when one has these thoughts because they come out of nowhere and make absolutely no sense.

[Candy_M]

I don't think the above scenario makes you a dangerous person. I have strange thoughts sometimes but thoughts are just THOUGHTS. They don't necessarily always reflect who you are as a person. I could say just don't dwell on them or beat yourself up about it, but that's probably easier said than done.

Are you just taking meds or are you seeing a therapist as well? While you're getting your meds right you probably should discuss this with a therapist who specializes in OCD. That way they can help you sort out your thoughts and recognize the rational ones and the irrational ones.

[meadd823]

It may be worth mentioning to your prescribing doc if they continue or increase to the point of being a constant problem - I have considered slapping people before but dismissed the idea as soon as I thought of all the legal crapola I would end up having to endure!

Anxiety increases intrusive thoughts of death and destruction - I figured it was my brains way of justifying my anxiety.

[AbsentMindProf]

We all have weird, irrational thoughts that go through our heads. I don't think you have much to worry about unless you start ACTING on irrational thoughts.

You used your intelligence to recognize a thought as irrational. It sounds to me like your brain is working exactly like it is supposed to.