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Old 04-29-12, 07:46 PM
Crazygirl79 Crazygirl79 is offline
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Types of Bad Friends.

Recently I've found myself in a situation where I've had to end several friendships with several different types of people for a variety of reasons and during this time I've reflected on my friendship choices and did a bit of reading as to what a bad friend really is and my expectations of a friend are now more defined but still reasonable.

Here are the types of bad friends we all want to avoid!

1: The Cheater. These are the sort who will flirt with your partner or husband, they are the dreaded "best friend" who may have an affair with your significant other. They are sweet talkers and are generally not down to earth.

2: The Competitor. This speaks for itself, competition and rivalry is quiet healthy in relationships and friendships but when this friend is always competing against your for whatever reason it starts to feel like you're in always in a competition and who really wants that??

3: The Leech. This also speaks for itself, this person is a absolute bludging sponge who borrow money of you and everyone else and rarely if ever does the same in return. In short if you have a friend like this, they are probably using you in someway.

4: The Copycat. This person copies everything you do probably right down to wearing the same type of undies (panties) you wear, while some copying is a sign of admiration and flattery excessive copying can really come across as creepy and scary.

5: The Shrink. This is the sort who not only picks fault with your relationships, jobs etc this is also the sort of person who tries to "rescue and save" people and tries to change people supposedly for their own good. These people are also too eager to give advice even when it's not wanted.

6: The Selfish Friend. This should speak for itself really, this person only gets involved in your life if they can benefit but they're not too generous with their time or even effort when it comes to the friendship and they also rarely put their hand up to help you when it's needed but expect you to put your hand up when they need help.

7: The Wild Child. The usually lovable wild child actually isn't so good for you to have around, they break the rules excessively whether it be drinking, smoking, gambling, drug use or misbehaviour in general these people who we perceive to be fun, games and good times can really get you into all kinds of trouble including legal. If you want to stay on the straight and narrow don't associate with these sorts...I've known a few of these in my time and as funny, spontaneous and cool as they come across I was aware of the unnecessary trouble I could get into and how I could be judged by the company I kept and now I avoid these sorts like the plague.

8: The Whiner. This person b*tches, whinges and complains about everything in life, they never seem to be happy and always put a damper on everything...personally instead of feeling sorry for them like I used I now steer clear of them.

9: The Drama Queen. This person cannot go through a day without drama, everything is a drama and these sorts often badmouth others and over dramatize everything, they're attention seekers, they even start sh*t just to wind someone up so they have a drama....who needs that?!

10: The Mood Killer. This person is always so negative about everything and their negativity often kills the mood so to speak...depressing hey?

11: The Swinger. No not the sexual kind lol, this person is probably a little nuts to start with and they tend to have mood swings at the drop of a hat over trivial garbage usually. In saying that there are some people who have legitmate mood disorders and while empathy, sympathy and support go a long way you also have to look after yourself and set your boundaries with these people if you're going to stay friends with them otherwise steer clear of them...I recently got rid of one of these sorts and it's the best thing I ever did.

12: The Paranoid Friend. It's ok to worry about what people think and it's certainly ok to worry about your privacy but when it gets excessive to the point where they're accusing people of things often without grounds or control everything and everyone around them then it becomes annoying, depressing and you feel stifled...I had an online friend like this and everytime she wrote to me I always felt like I was in trouble for something and furthermore they adjusted their Facebook settings so I couldn't comment on their posts but could still post on their wall, anyway I realised this person wasn't a great friend as I always felt inferior so I deleted them.

13: The Friend You've Outgrown. Ok most of us have childhood friends that stick around right throughout your life but as we go through the passage of life and things change, someone gets married, someone has a baby, someone moves overseas, someone becomes a hippy or whatever and these changes are bound to change the dynamics of the friendship and in most cases that friend can still fit in with who you are and how you live your life however when your contact with them lessens or drops off and you realise that you no longer have anything in common with this friend because you're both become such different people you might need to reassess that friendship and work out if this is something that can be fixed or whether you need to cut them loose and move on. The thing about these sorts of friends while they're good to sit around and be nostalgic with they also tend to hold you back from growing as a person, this may or may not be intentional but it is a sign that you've outgrown this person and need new friends.

Just remember that all of these people also have good points and what you might need to do is weigh up the pros and cons of keeping or letting go of certain friends.

Selena
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  #2  
Old 04-29-12, 07:52 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

Hi selena great post I've probably had a friend fitting in each category I've had to like yourself cut a lot of these negative peopleout of my life awakening moment was the friend that crashed her car deliberately with me in it
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Old 04-29-12, 07:52 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

Um..would there be anyone left to make friends with??
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Old 04-29-12, 07:56 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

Florence1989: We all have friends like that from time to time.

Fuzzy12: Yes there are plenty of people to make friends with but it's a matter of choosing wisely.

Selena
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Old 04-29-12, 08:00 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazygirl79 View Post
Florence1989: We all have friends like that from time to time.

Fuzzy12: Yes there are plenty of people to make friends with but it's a matter of choosing wisely.

Selena
I guess, you are right Selena. Well, I hope you are. But you know, I can't think of a single person that I know fairly well who doesn't fall into at least one of these categories.

I've just had a thought: Maybe this is why I tend to avoid people? Maybe it isn't me after all but just that the people around me really just aren't that great???
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Old 04-29-12, 08:02 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

Lol fuzzy I think most other humans just dissapoint its why I love my animals lol..I still feel an adhd community would be great teehee lol
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Old 04-29-12, 08:18 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

I love animals more than I love people and I have Aspergers along with my ADHD.

I think in terms of dealing with certain types of people you have to be aware of their flaws, your feelings about those flaws and it's up to you to choose who you spend time with wisely, if you have a friend who makes you feel good about yourself after being with them and is supportive during the bad times as well as the good time then chances are they're probably the friend to hang onto but if you find that you come away from a catch up feeling upset, annoyed, angry, negative or you or someone else in your life notices a change in you after being with a certain person then chances are they are having a negative impact on your life and you probably should consider spending less time with them if not cut them loose altogether..

It's also important to set boundaries from the start of the friendship if possible...

Selena
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Old 04-29-12, 09:01 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

Heres some more types of friends to look out for...

14: The Unreliable Friend. People change plans from time to time and thats ok because circumstances call for it but when a friend continually breaks arrangements, doesn't show up or continually makes excuses for their behaviour then they are being unreliable....I've actually dealt with two people who are like this, both of them have animals which I am qualified to provide a service for so they contact me from time to time to arrange pet minding services only to cancel every single time, while I realise that this particular line of work is unstable dealing with potential clients including those who consider to be friends continually making arrangements and cancelling with some pathetic excuse everytime is not only annoying but it also makes you less inclined to take them seriously in the future....I have decided to no longer provide these services for those two people, one I am not friends with anymore and the other wouldn't know whether she's Arthur or Martha half the time but overall they are unreliable in most aspects of their lives.

15: The Gossip. These people love to talk about others and quiet often it’s in a nasty way. If you find that your friend never has anything nice to say about another person or tells you everyone else’s business chances are they’re doing the same behind your back...be careful!

16: The Big Mouth. This person doesn’t know the meaning of the word discretion period!! Tell your secrets to this person expect the whole town to find out, the only way to avoid this problems is to be very wary of what you tell this type of person.


Selena

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Old 04-29-12, 10:04 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

Jeessusss christ you just named all of my co workers in a nutshell!Sheesh at this rate whts the point in having friends at all?!!
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Old 04-29-12, 10:12 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

Rebelyell: It's not that bad lol and co- workers often don't count as friends unless you're friends with them outside of work or even more sleeping with them.

Everyone one of us has these qualities but it's more about how they affect other peoples lives that determine whether we are a good friend for them or not and vice versa.

Selena
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Old 04-29-12, 10:49 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

I was gonna say we all could have some of traits especially whining n complaining
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Old 04-29-12, 11:51 PM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

I feel like I've probably been all of those at one point or another...
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Old 04-30-12, 05:13 AM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

I've HAD every one of those friends at one time or another. I've learned to choose my friends more wisely now, some still may fit into some of the above categories but no one is perfect.

I have some friends who used to fall into some of those categories but have grown up quite a bit and it's not an issue anymore.

Ultimately it comes down to trust, reciprocity and how you feel when you're with them. imo.

It's good to be aware of all the types you listed because even if they aren't your friends we all have to deal with them. I work with some overly competitive people and I've learned to limit my time with these people to the bare minimum.
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Old 04-30-12, 05:22 AM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

It took me a while to cut those types of friends from my life. Once I cut them out which was the healthiest thing for me, I then purged my FB friends because I've found that leaving the internet "door" open for these people was inviting more stress into my life. It was a very freeing experience. I also told those friends that were still pestering me to have a relationship because it made them feel better about themselves at my expense to f**k off.
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Old 04-30-12, 06:34 AM
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Re: Types of Bad Friends.

Sarahsweets: Your two favourite words are obviously f**k off lol but yes it does take a while to get the courage to move on from unhealthy friendships both online and in real life.

I feel much better since I cut certain people out of my life and stopped using Facebook altogether!!

Selena
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