14 yr old twin and his bad decisions

[ayers1995]

One of my 14 yr old twins is out of control. I am just at my wits end and ready to send him somewhere that can help him. He isn't caring about school, isnt caring about his bad decisions like cutting class and getting a ticket for it, cursing... Now I just found out he was smoking at his bus stop this morning.

He's already grounded until we go to court for the ticket. What else do I do? I'm so sick of trying to get him to give a ****! I mean I'm looking at the possibility of this kid being in jail. He's had the cops called on him for shooting air soft guns at people, throwing rocks at neighbors house, slinging mud on someones door.

Omg!

[CrazyLazyGal]

How long has this behavior been going on? Has he been evaluated and diagnosed? If so, what are his diagnoses, and what treatments have been tried?

[ayers1995]

His been diagnosed since he was 7 as adhd. We've tried several forms: Daytrana is what is currently prescribed. I have a hard time getting him to wear it... the behaviour settles a little - then picks back up more aggressive. (skipping class, smoking) I am going to schedule another appt with the psychiatrist.. he definately needs someone to talk to.

As far as school goes - he just doesn't seem to care any more.

[ccom5100]

Originally Posted by ayers1995

He's had the cops called on him for shooting air soft guns at people, throwing rocks at neighbors house, slinging mud on someones door. Omg!

I wouldn't rule out his being bullied and picked on by people. That would cause this type of behavior.

If not, then perhaps he is just an impulsive kid. My ds was very impulsive and would do stupid things like that, with no malicious intent. Stimulants made him more impulsive and also made him aggressive. Then, we tried Tenex, which is working wonderfully to help him control his impulses. Tenex is a non-stimulant med (guanfacine). He takes it 2X/day (morning and after school). Intuniv is the 24/hr version of guanfacine, which is taken 1X/day.
He also follows an additive-free diet.

[CrazyLazyGal]

Is ADHD the only diagnosis? It sounds like there may be more going on.

[sarahsweets]

ODD comes to mind

[happytexas]

Bullying is a possibility, as well as a learning disability that he was able to compensate for until now (ADHD children are more likely to have a LD).

I don't know what other medications you've tried but a patch may not be the best for one reluctant to take medication; and I wouldn't stick with a medication that increases aggressiveness. Psychiatrists often don't do counciling and refer elsewhere for that.

I read these books last summer and think they might be helpful to you:

Genius!: Nurturing the Spirit of the Wild, Odd, And Oppositional Child by George T. Lynn

Raising a Self-Disciplined Child: Help Your Child Become More Responsible, Confident, and Resilient by Dr. Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein

[nharkey]

Originally Posted by ayers1995

One of my 14 yr old twins is out of control. I am just at my wits end and ready to send him somewhere that can help him. He isn't caring about school, isnt caring about his bad decisions like cutting class and getting a ticket for it, cursing... Now I just found out he was smoking at his bus stop this morning.

He's already grounded until we go to court for the ticket. What else do I do? I'm so sick of trying to get him to give a ****! I mean I'm looking at the possibility of this kid being in jail. He's had the cops called on him for shooting air soft guns at people, throwing rocks at neighbors house, slinging mud on someones door.

Omg!

You mention that he is a twin. Is the other twin okay, and are they identical? I have a pair of identical grandsons that are about to be 14. Without ADHD they are still an incredible handful--back each other up and play off each other. I am sure ADHD and teens are pure hell, but wondered what the twin relationship might be contributing.