ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Adults with ADD > Inattentive ADD
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Inattentive ADD A forum set aside for the the discussion of inattention and inattentive ADD

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #16  
Old 05-18-12, 11:17 AM
syrella's Avatar
syrella syrella is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: cali
Posts: 214
Thanks: 97
Thanked 120 Times in 68 Posts
syrella will become famous soon enough
Re: Socializing - I don't get it

I tend to just shush up when anxious. I have gone motormouth mode a few times and I've usually regret doing that because I tend to say really weird and dumb things. I think it's better to say less sometimes and have people wonder than to drive people away by weirdness. That's just me and how I cope, though...
__________________
Feel free to send me random PM's! I like hearing from people.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to syrella For This Useful Post:
kristo (07-01-12)
  #17  
Old 05-26-12, 12:54 AM
kuhan1923's Avatar
kuhan1923 kuhan1923 is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: tracy, ca
Posts: 125
Thanks: 72
Thanked 74 Times in 53 Posts
kuhan1923 has a spectacular aura aboutkuhan1923 has a spectacular aura about
Thumbs up Re: Socializing - I don't get it

Quote:
Originally Posted by ginniebean View Post
Many people become increasingly anxious when there are long pauses in the conversation. In order to avoid the anxiety they fill the space with more idle chatter.
Qft.

Even i do this when im walking with a girl to avoid that "awkward" feeling. It takes sooooo much damn energy tho :/ I wish people would just be okay with walking and not chatting at all sometimes.
__________________
"What's the world's greatest lie?"

"It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's
greatest lie."
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 06-03-12, 12:06 AM
Ipsofacto Ipsofacto is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: MN
Posts: 232
Thanks: 179
Thanked 211 Times in 125 Posts
Ipsofacto has a spectacular aura aboutIpsofacto has a spectacular aura about
Re: Socializing - I don't get it

I have trouble with the boring topics of conversation at social events. I'm not interested in pick up trucks, fishing, hunting, football, nascar, baseball etc. As 90% of conversation is about these topics, it's impossible to join in.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #19  
Old 06-04-12, 06:25 PM
gaucho15 gaucho15 is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Southern CA
Posts: 7
Thanks: 3
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
gaucho15 is on a distinguished road
Re: Socializing - I don't get it

OMG, I thought I was just socially awkward and shy. I can be talkative and I like intense conversation, which is probably why it's so hard for me to make friends.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gaucho15 For This Useful Post:
kristo (07-01-12)
  #20  
Old 06-04-12, 06:41 PM
Flory's Avatar
Flory Flory is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: In the projects
Posts: 3,660
Thanks: 4,821
Thanked 3,984 Times in 2,083 Posts
Flory has a reputation beyond reputeFlory has a reputation beyond reputeFlory has a reputation beyond reputeFlory has a reputation beyond reputeFlory has a reputation beyond reputeFlory has a reputation beyond reputeFlory has a reputation beyond reputeFlory has a reputation beyond reputeFlory has a reputation beyond reputeFlory has a reputation beyond reputeFlory has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Socializing - I don't get it

blurting things out and being innapropriate can get me in some sticky situations...guys think im coming on to them when im hyper and start trying to make moves on me an im like wooaaahhhh hold on a damn second im just really bubbly...i have to try and keep friends that understand my affliction
__________________
(IR Dexedrine 45 mg)
'I have this strange feeling that I'm not myself anymore. It's hard to put into words, but I guess it's like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling. - Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart

Go Raiders !!!
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 06-04-12, 07:52 PM
fracturedstory's Avatar
fracturedstory fracturedstory is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 7,381
Blog Entries: 2
Thanks: 1,490
Thanked 7,496 Times in 3,874 Posts
fracturedstory has a reputation beyond reputefracturedstory has a reputation beyond reputefracturedstory has a reputation beyond reputefracturedstory has a reputation beyond reputefracturedstory has a reputation beyond reputefracturedstory has a reputation beyond reputefracturedstory has a reputation beyond reputefracturedstory has a reputation beyond reputefracturedstory has a reputation beyond reputefracturedstory has a reputation beyond reputefracturedstory has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Socializing - I don't get it

I don't really like being around people unless I'm medicated or during a very short window where I actually give a damn. I get bored pretty quickly and boredom turns into either anger or fantasizing.

It's not that the topics are boring but some are just hard to relate to. I always try to slide in a few topics that I know a lot about and I'll be fine to just be quiet the rest of the time.

I find it hard to relate to any humans anyway, even the weird ones like me.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 06-04-12, 10:16 PM
quark quark is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 238
Thanks: 11
Thanked 116 Times in 77 Posts
quark is on a distinguished road
Re: Socializing - I don't get it

Quote:
Originally Posted by Driver View Post
Dopamine. Sharing experiences and connecting with people is stimulating and rewarding.
This can be true, but often I find the activation energy to go and join a conversation to be insurmountable.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 06-04-12, 11:46 PM
Ragnar's Avatar
Ragnar Ragnar is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 6
Thanks: 0
Thanked 10 Times in 4 Posts
Ragnar will become famous soon enough
Re: Socializing - I don't get it

There was a time when my ego was weak and I longed for social interaction and connection, but only for the sake of others' approval and the temporary fulfillment of my socially-programmed need for acceptance.

I eventually became self-aware enough to notice this pattern and, as a result, I over-compensated. I spent the next few years systematically 'rewiring' myself to be emotionally and mentally self-sufficient. As an unintentional side-effect, I started to spend less and less time with people and eventually found that I had completely isolated myself. I had reached my goal of being completely indifferent to and unaffected by others.

After about a year of this behavior, I began to find myself longing for social interaction once again. However, this time was different. Before, I needed the interaction to maintain my self-esteem. Now, I wanted the interaction purely for its own sake.

Social interaction is so much more rewarding when you have disconnected it from your self-esteem and psychological well-being. You will find yourself being fully accepting and completely understanding of other people, and they will notice it. It's an amazing thing to hear people truly communicating with you when they realize that there are no pretenses.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 06-27-12, 04:52 AM
sbcy sbcy is offline
Contributor
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 468
Thanks: 3
Thanked 107 Times in 71 Posts
sbcy has a spectacular aura aboutsbcy has a spectacular aura about
Re: Socializing - I don't get it

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragnar View Post
There was a time when my ego was weak and I longed for social interaction and connection, but only for the sake of others' approval and the temporary fulfillment of my socially-programmed need for acceptance.

I eventually became self-aware enough to notice this pattern and, as a result, I over-compensated. I spent the next few years systematically 'rewiring' myself to be emotionally and mentally self-sufficient. As an unintentional side-effect, I started to spend less and less time with people and eventually found that I had completely isolated myself. I had reached my goal of being completely indifferent to and unaffected by others.

After about a year of this behavior, I began to find myself longing for social interaction once again. However, this time was different. Before, I needed the interaction to maintain my self-esteem. Now, I wanted the interaction purely for its own sake.

Social interaction is so much more rewarding when you have disconnected it from your self-esteem and psychological well-being. You will find yourself being fully accepting and completely understanding of other people, and they will notice it. It's an amazing thing to hear people truly communicating with you when they realize that there are no pretenses.
Interesting, good advice.
__________________
CURRENTLY TAKING DAILY: 300mg Zoloft, 12g Nordic Naturals EPA fish oil, cephalexin (for acne).
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 06-27-12, 06:43 AM
MikhailTal MikhailTal is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 76
Thanks: 24
Thanked 54 Times in 34 Posts
MikhailTal will become famous soon enough
Re: Socializing - I don't get it

I don't get it either. However, I'm just getting myself together after suffering from social anxiety for a few years, which I developed in high school. I'm now at the point where I feel much less anxiety towards people than I did before, I often just don't have interest in other people, or the need to share things. I feel like a blank sheet of paper, with nothing on my mind or nothing happening in my life that's worth sharing, simply because I'm very inactive. I often don't read the news for days.

When I've had some alcohol, my ability to enjoy socializing dramatically improves. When I'm getting more and more drunk, I gruadually become someone else and I can ask someone something like "how was your day" with sincere interest, but when I'm sober I have to push the words out of my lungs like I'm carrying bricks while climbing a ladder.

Then there are the practical problems caused by ADD-I that hinder my ability to socialize, of course it's harder for me to speak clearly and express what I feel because of concentration and working memory problems.

This all wouldn't be a problem when I'd be content with being alone a lot, but I'm not. I feel like a social person who feels lonely quickly without the means to be social.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MikhailTal For This Useful Post:
kristo (07-01-12)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Socializing Books mcnay1 General Parenting Issues 9 03-20-12 01:13 PM
Socializing med for sum1 with autism shakepurmake General Medication Discussion 6 09-22-08 09:47 PM
Lack of interest in socializing shakepurmake General ADD Talk 5 09-13-08 12:26 PM
Adult with ADD in New Area and socializing Crisgo79 Relationships & Social Issues 4 11-14-04 04:04 PM
Socializing MrZachary Relationships & Social Issues 1 03-08-04 10:05 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:02 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2014 ADD Forums