My boyfriend is stealing my Adderalladderall

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Meadde is dead with this point.

jeez, I meant DEAD RIGHT..not dead

[hjajck]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

jeez, I meant DEAD RIGHT..not dead

I hope not. That would be creepy, having a ghost on the forums.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...

[ADDarren]

That's a felony! I'd go with the safe idea, if your don't break up with him.

regards

[Ganjin]

Originally Posted by cjalxndr

This is the third time I have successfully caught and confronted him and he has admitted to it. I had a brand new bottle in my drawer 90 pills were there now there is only 70. Last time 40 were missing. Is this grounds for breaking up with him. I have been with him for 5.5 years, I've talked to my therapist about this. He has admitted he has a problem, I just can't take the lies.

Please share similar experiences with geniune advice. I'd greatly appreciate it.

Also if you have to contribute is to "troll" my post. Go elsewhere

Pretty much everyone has assumed that by "problem" you mean to say that he has an addiction? Is that the case? If so, then the problem must go way beyond adderall right? I mean to say that he didn't develop an addiction by swiping your adderall. What else is he doing?

I know that others are suggesting you cut him a break if you're dealing with an addict, and that makes sense. BUT, you've got to be careful with that. Adderall could be least of what he ends up taking from you. Addicts are capable of doing things nobody can imagine until they've actually had to live around one.

The other thing I'm wondering is: when and where is he taking all this adderall? Have you noticed him wired and jumpy? Most non-ADHD people using 60 or mg of adderall would be pretty jumpy I think (though I'm not sure).

Is it possible that he's actually selling the stuff? When you talk about 40 pills missing, I just don't understand how he's getting that much adderall into his system without appearing loopy.

Btw - I don't think you'll encounter much trolling here. The crowd on these boards is overwhelmingly honest people who offer honest advice.

[salleh]

NEadd, Now that was a man who really loved you ......and my what an adventurous life you've had .....

and OP ......there's a lot of good info here, and I agree with all of it , even the contractictory ideas.....( I tend to see both sides of a situation ) ....and it really is up to you do decide how much you want to hassle this relationship ....and perhaps it's time to check out whther this is a toxic relationship ......


I got caught up i one of those, my thinking being that compared to my husband, Ken treated me really good......yah right .....not good thinking .....Ken was an even more toxic relationship, and we were together for around 5 years.....all the time I was with him I kept thinking , why am I here? ....

...so is the adderall theft just part of a overall relationship you know you really shouldn't be in ? .....or is it just one thing he really screws up on .....

[ana futura]

Originally Posted by salleh

...so is the adderall theft just part of a overall relationship you know you really shouldn't be in ? .....or is it just one thing he really screws up on .....

Yeah, this distinction is really important. Sometimes realizing you're in a relationship you're not supposed to be in can be very hard. I think the adderall issue is sort of getting in the way.

Think about the rest of the relationship outside of the drug use, and decide whether it's worth saving. Then make sure your drugs are secure.

Some people just like drugs. They can still be great people, but they like drugs and have no desire to stop. People like this can be highly functioning and go on for years this way. Some get over it on their own, some take a turn for the worse, and some just continue on with casual drug use forever.

If you do decide to stay with him, but he seems like he does not want to stop using or go into treatment (you can't force anyone to do those things), you have to be very clear with him that if he uses, he is not allowed to touch your adderall. Whatever other crap he gets into is up to him, but your adderall is off limits.

By framing it this way, you will really stress to him that your adderall is not just another drug.

Regardless of whether or not he makes an effort to stop using, you have to realize that you are in a relationship with someone with a drug use problem. A drug use problem is not a reason to break up with someone, but it is a lot to deal with, and you may not be able to handle it. You have to make that decision for yourself.

[T-Rex65]

The fact that he has stolen your adderall multiple times is a big red flag. Either he can't control himself, or he just doesn't care that his actions are negatively affecting you. If I were in your place, I would consider a few things. First, is this part of a pattern of behaviour? Is this a pattern based on impulse control, or possibly callousness? (Either would be a problem.) Finally, does he take the issue seriously and is he willing to work on fixing it somehow?

BTW, it isn't the recreational drug use that concerns me. It's the fact that he is deceiving you (although not very well, apparently), and that his deceipt is affecting your wellbeing. That's not cool.

Also, I like the idea of putting your meds in a locked safe. If he supports that idea, then maybe there's hope for you guys.

[kilted_scotsman]

There are recreational drugs and there are meds.

Someone who steals the medication from someone who needs them to function is a lowlife, no matter which way you look at it.

Someone who steals medication is saying that their "need" is greater then the need of the person who was prescribed them.

It's denigrating to people who do need ADD meds to have their condition trivialised in this way.

Someone else's medication is off-limits... period.

OK so there may be reasons to live around a person who may steal meds, and steps taken to safeguard the meds, like the locked safe, but those are usually special circumstances discussed by all involved.

kilted

[Drewbacca]

At the very least, you need a safe. What's really bad about your scenario is that if he ever gets caught with your medication, I believe that you could lose the ability to have it prescribed to you or you'd have to keep it in someone else's possession to distribute to you. The legal community isn't going to hold him accountable for possession, they will hold you accountable because you knew about it and failed to do anything about it.

I could be wrong, but it's something to consider.

[crystal8080]

Originally Posted by ana futura

A drug use problem is not a reason to break up with someone

I disagree. I think it is a perfectly good reason. Unless you like co-dependency.

My husband has Crohn's disease, and for a very long time he was really really sick. Like going to emergency a few times a week. This went on for a few years. I had a really hard time staying because it was so difficult. How can you leave if its not their fault, right? However, if he went out to a crackhouse he would be gone. Simple. But we have clear lines on acceptable behaviour. And I know the same goes for me. I know that would be grounds for breakup. Its good to have clear expectations imo

[ana futura]

Originally Posted by crystal8080

I disagree. I think it is a perfectly good reason. Unless you like co-dependency.

That is why I qualified that statement with
"but it is a lot to deal with, and you may not be able to handle it. You have to make that decision for yourself."

I maintain that a drug use problem alone is not a reason to break up with someone. If you decide that you are not willing or able to stay in a relationship with a user, then yes, that is a reason to break up with someone

But what I'm trying to say is there is no rule book that declares that the proper thing to do is break up with an addict. It is up to the OP to evaluate her relationship.

Co-dependency really does not enter into it. Don't mistake love, empathy, or concern for co-dependency.

It would take a hell of a lot more than one visit to a crack house for me to dump my partner. If my partner refused to seek treatment, refused to see that there was a problem, and showed no concern for her health or regret for her actions, then yes, I would leave.

[kuhan1923]

Break up with his ***! Imo.

Edit: Safe is a good idea also!

[Conman]

the way i see it, you have 2 choices

A: dump his ***
2: give him an ultimatum

[roosterdog]

Hilarous, because my partner tells me if i need an aspirin im a druggie. and one glass of wine is too much for a second.

[KatrinaCaitlin]

Mine has also done this, once it was 2 or 4 Adderall for his dumb boss, and then it was ten Vistaril I had a gut instinct to check my medication, and both times I was correct to which my solution is a hidden lock box with all my medication, and only carrying 5 of my meds each on me at a time. If he knows I will notice them gone he won't take them. Makes it more difficult to just take meds like a normal person but at least I can take the whole script without missing ones.