PTSD from life experience?

[FreewayFlyer04]

I didn't know that I didn't remember most of my childhood, until my wife was asking about it. We explored some of my kid and teen history, but just drew a blank on most of it, and it didn't seem important. Involved in some car wrecks, dang near died in hospital after one.

Worked on a few dying or seriously hurt folks, (EMT Cert for awhile.)

Have always had a rather macabre sense of humor, never had a problem moving bodies around.

Have a very low 'startle response' but occasionally fly off with a raging temper, and I am really worried about that. My last episode, I don't remember what my wife said, but I was set off and raging, verbally. It was almost like I was detached from the words, watching someone else unload and hurt the woman I love.

Going to see the doc today, a GP, and see if he will refer up, or has any other ideas.

Anything else to consider? (Currently 20 mg adderall xr once daily)

[hjajck]

I also can't remember a lot of my life, specifically childhood.

What exactly do you think your PTSD is from? All of that combined? I won't say that is impossible, but PTSD is caused from a traumatic experience(s).

[Drewbacca]

Originally Posted by FreewayFlyer04

Have always had a rather macabre sense of humor, never had a problem moving bodies around.

You and half of my friends. There is nothing unusual about that. Death doesn't bother me and yet I freak out at the thought of a bee flying in my ear.

I would think that if you had PTSD, you would know why. But then, I don't know anything about repressed memories... *shrugs*

[FreewayFlyer04]

Originally Posted by hjajck

What exactly do you think your PTSD is from? All of that combined? I won't say that is impossible, but PTSD is caused from a traumatic experience(s).

CPR in the middle of the road, rain coming down, while directing folks to apply direct pressure, and wave off traffic, and corral the victims friends and family. At least I didn't have to do the death notification on that one. Medics handled it after taking over.

Or knowing that I am in way over my head in a corner, and all the skill and equipment is not going to help, maximum braking to point of impact, and I still traveled over 150 ft before coming to rest, without my vehicle, which went over 400 ft. Stayed conscious the whole time, I can play that back in Technicolor anytime I want, and sometimes when I don't want.



I know guys on disability for being involved in less stressful situations just once.

And I didn't know if it is cumualative, serial, periodic, or isolated. Was hoping someone could tell me.


However, after appt this morning, doc does not think it applies, which is a huge relief.

We are adjusting my adderall, and I am going to learn some better coping skills

[FreewayFlyer04]

Originally Posted by Drewbacca

I would think that if you had PTSD, you would know why. But then, I don't know anything about repressed memories... *shrugs*

I hadn't ever considered it, until following the articles on the Army mis-diagnosis scandal.

And when I act in a manner that surprises me, in a bad way, I start looking for answers.

That is what I like about this forum, wide range of folks willing to share.

[hjajck]

Originally Posted by FreewayFlyer04

CPR in the middle of the road, rain coming down, while directing folks to apply direct pressure, and wave off traffic, and corral the victims friends and family. At least I didn't have to do the death notification on that one. Medics handled it after taking over.

Or knowing that I am in way over my head in a corner, and all the skill and equipment is not going to help, maximum braking to point of impact, and I still traveled over 150 ft before coming to rest, without my vehicle, which went over 400 ft. Stayed conscious the whole time, I can play that back in Technicolor anytime I want, and sometimes when I don't want.



I know guys on disability for being involved in less stressful situations just once.

And I didn't know if it is cumualative, serial, periodic, or isolated. Was hoping someone could tell me.


However, after appt this morning, doc does not think it applies, which is a huge relief.

We are adjusting my adderall, and I am going to learn some better coping skills

I think often we don't know why exactly things happen, or what could have triggered feelings or symptoms. I am no expert, and certainly not a doctor. Just posting from personal experience as well as the experience of others.

I personally think it is highly individual whether or not PTSD is from one event, cumulative events, or something that you witnessed. Or the combination of all of those things.

The important thing is you are seeing someone. But, if you still feel like you may be showing signs of PTSD, I would get a second opinion.

[civilized2012]

I have PTSD due to childhood sexual abuse and I suppose if you're thinking about whether you might have it, I'd have to ask you: When you have your episodes of rage or whatnot, does it feel like it's triggered by something?

If not, it's not the same way I experience my PTSD -- every time I have an episode (of intense anxiety and fear, in my case) I can tell -- usually during the episode -- what caused it, and I need to get into an environment that I feel is safe and relaxed for a few days in order to get out of it.

If you do think you have PTSD, from what I've read and experienced therapy is extremely helpful. As far as the whole repressed memories thing goes, I don't know, because I think my problem has been having far too good of a memory

[Plognark]

Originally Posted by civilized2012

I have PTSD due to childhood sexual abuse and I suppose if you're thinking about whether you might have it, I'd have to ask you: When you have your episodes of rage or whatnot, does it feel like it's triggered by something?

If not, it's not the same way I experience my PTSD -- every time I have an episode (of intense anxiety and fear, in my case) I can tell -- usually during the episode -- what caused it, and I need to get into an environment that I feel is safe and relaxed for a few days in order to get out of it.

If you do think you have PTSD, from what I've read and experienced therapy is extremely helpful. As far as the whole repressed memories thing goes, I don't know, because I think my problem has been having far too good of a memory

Yeah, I agree with this. It doesn't quite sound like PTSD, but single event PTSD can be different than chronic trauma. I was raised by an extremely violent BPD mother. I have some extreme triggers from every day events, and I generally know exactly what it is.

That being said, there's lower level subconscious stuff that I'm only just now figuring out. Conditioned behaviors. I'm hyper sensitive to my wife's moods. Comes from having to monitor my mom for fit of rage where I might have to escape at the drop of a dime. If my wife is agitated or upset, I have a completely exaggerated anxiety reaction. Sometimes it builds to the point where I actually snap, get angry or upset, and have to just get out and get away. Took a lot of therapy to start sorting little things like this out.

One of the problems is that an ADDer's brain has to use equipment that's designed for more intense, brief, and emotional events. Not good for day to day stuff.

[Slo-mo a-go-go]

Really glad to hear you got a doc appt, and that you want to and working toward to figuring out what going on w/ your cranial cognitive conundrums, errr, brain.

Plognark's raised a good point abt chromatic trauma vs. single event PTSD. (plognark~Sorry you had to be on guard for violent outbursts from your mom, and endured that unintentional abuse bc of her BPD and the resulting lingering impacts on your life)

As someone who has suffered from PTSD, and speaking from that experience in treating it, it was all about getting to where PTSD no longer affects and limits my daily life.
PTSD literally was a "nightmare" that I couldn't wake up from, with a distinict starting point to work with, the trauma, to where I slowly starting "waking up" from the terror till I no longer experience the nightmare if I do remember the trauma.

Best wishes as you sort thru it and get to where you want to be with your problems, glad that you're willing to work to make it better....

[FreewayFlyer04]

Thanks all, been much better lately, talk therapy at my house involves spending quality time with my wife, she is very intuitive as to my moods, whereas I usually have no idea what mood I am in. When I stop and listen to her, and stop for me involves a huge mental shift, brakes on, drop what I am doing, make sure I am not quivering or twitching, slow down breathing, life always goes better. I do have to look at her, and turn off TV or radio. I am so unable to read people, I have to focus on what she is saying, because I always (almost) misread body language.

[finallyfound10]

PTSD is one form of the effects of trauma on a person. There are several types of stress disorders after acute and/or chronic events. I deal with one that is not as intense as PTSD at all but still has very negative and life altering consequences.

http://www.dsm5.org/proposedrevision...Disorders.aspx

[CottonCandy_12]

Finally found, I was just looking at your post: How do doctors decide to use klonopin instead of ativan? I have chronic PTSD and I'm prescribed ativan up to 3 mg daily (have never taken that much). I also have it for panic attacks.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by CottonCandy_12

Finally found, I was just looking at your post: How do doctors decide to use klonopin instead of ativan? I have chronic PTSD and I'm prescribed ativan up to 3 mg daily (have never taken that much). I also have it for panic attacks.

Klonopin has a longer half-life than ativan. Klonopin is 24hrs and ativan is 12, I believe.

[FreewayFlyer04]

will be reading that link later today, gotta get rolling on stuff. thanks for putting it up....things are smooth right now, but I can feel the stress building.