Adderall Addiction

[grandma lise]

ToastedBunny, when stimulant medication is taken in theraputic doses, the effects are subtle, not in any way extreme. Medication alone will not change your life.

The right medication(s), dosed and timed properly, however, are an important, foundational step in that it will increase your ability to work toward your goals.

Assuming that you have AD/HD, likely complicated by some of the other conditions included in the list I posted earlier, a next step might be for you to learn more about AD/HD and addictions. A good book is When Too Much Isn't Enough: Ending the Dystructive Cycle of AD/HD and Addctive Behavior by Wendy Richardson (2005) http://www.amazon.com/When-Too-Much-...3581821&sr=1-1 Knowledge is empowering.

The next step might be reading a comprehensive book on AD/HD. My all time favorite is Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life by Sari Solden http://www.amazon.com/Women-Attentio...3582366&sr=1-1

When you're ready, another step might be to find a counselor or coach specialized in working with AD/HD adults to begin sorting and making sense of your experiences and where you want to go next in your life.

I think it's good to journal about your experiences, here or privately. It will increase your awareness of any repeating patterns and how they are affecting you and those around you. For there to be change in your life, there must first be awareness. It's not that simple of course, but it's a starting place.

[psydefects]

my 2 cents about ADD/ADHD meds and euphoric feelings...

i think, and have experienced, after many years of being diagnosed with the inattentive ADD type, that the rush can be experienced by all, ADDers or not.

I don't encourage anyone who hasn't felt it to try it, because once you know how good it can feel, your damn mind will start thinking about it and in the end many give in, because it pales in comparison with almost everything else in life.

The rush is experinced when the route of administration allows a quick overflow of the brain with any drug, in our case stimulants-in other cases opioids, that triggers the reinforcement-pleasure center and/or the motivating centers of our brains.

The faster the onset of action, makes the buzz more intense. But the rush diminishes over time as well. Don't be fooled by the damn rush or you will chase that first unforgotten feeling for the rest of your lives, the memory of it never fades. Then you're caught in the loophole, because there's no more rush, and no matter what you do, it's gone, the magic is gone. Our bodies and our brain are homeostatic, that means they try to be balanced. When they become unbalanced, they have their way to create equillibrium. Lots of ways. And they keep a memory, so if someone thinks letting the tolerance go down might do the trick, is wrong. The tolerance willl come back each time 10x faster. Never change your suggested route of administering your meds. It will be one of the worst decisions in your life. Also, don't take more than prescribed, that method bypasses the rush, but creates also an overflow. The combination of changing the R.O.A. AND increasing the dosage is THE terrible mistake.

And it sucks big time going back to using the meds as you should from the beginning, after having learned the lesson.

That's why all of you who haven't felt the rush, and you're curious, i say you better stay curious. I'd choose that curriosity anytime for the rush experience. But choosing afterwards is another story.

[ThreeAeroplanes]

NOTE: THIS IS A REALLY LONG POST & DON'T EXPECT EVERYONE TO READ IT. But if you have had problems with hard drug/alcohol abuse, AND you've had trouble with abusing your ADHD meds, then we just might be similar people. Maybe what worked for me might work for you ... but maybe not. I hope this at least helps someone out there...




Before my psychiatrist ever diagnosed me as ADHD, I never considered that was my problem. Up until then, I just thought ADHD meant some kids have trouble focusing in school; I had no idea it can be such a serious mental condition for adults, causing so many other [potentially life-ruining] problems for people...
That said, I initially saw my psychiatrist because I had been suffering from a cocaine-crack/alcohol addiction for over a year previously.... and I was desperate for professional help to get out of that trap. Last thing I expected was ADHD... What I learned is that many people who have ADHD tend to have a special affinity for addictive drugs because they replace what's naturally "missing" in your brain... Speaking from experience I now realize that by seeking cocaine/crack, I wasn't looking for a "fun night" as much as I was really looking for an escape from hyper-anxiety ADHD brain. There's a lot of hardcore research linking addictive behavior to ADHD.

It's worth mentioning that finally learning about how ADHD & addiction affect each other helped me. I now felt better about myself as a person ("it's not 100% my fault, it really is harder for me than other people..."). But more important, learning about how my brain works and trying to understand WHY I do things made my addiction problems seem less huge. The better you understand something (including your own head), the better-equipped you are to deal with it I think...



So I was prescribed Vyvanse. It was super expensive (I didnt have insurance, so $180), but the psychiatrist thought it was best because it supposedly has "little or no" potential for abuse.

Well at first I was in heaven. I'd finally found a simple solution in a capsule, and I felt "normal," - like myself - again... but it didn't last long. The Vyvanse people claim it's not abuseable just because it's not possible to snort it through your nose like plain adderall. But duh, just take a couple of extra pills and you're high as a kite. "No potential for abuse?" what a joke...

Soon, several times per month I'd binge on the Vyvanse (meaning I'd just take many times the amount of my prescribed dose throughout a night). These experiences tended to be fun for a few hours, then truly MISERABLE thereafter. After the high fades, you sink into a bizarre, twisted depression. It gets better after a day but you still feel "low" for a few days after. What made it worth it to continue this for 9 months is that when I was able to discipline myself to take it properly, it really did help me excel at my job and my grades in college went from a C average to straight A's overnight.
So for a while I guess I decided that those benefits were worth the the periodic Vyvanse binges & misery. When it got so bad that I felt I couldn't enjoy ANYTHING in life unless I felt the "buzz" of Vyvanse, I knew I had to stop.

So my psychiatrist and I decided on Wellbutrin - a medicine used mainly for Major Depressive Disorder and to help people stop smoking (But it targets similar areas of the brain as ADHD meds, so its sometimes used to treat ADHD cases like mine because it's 0% addictive). The only thing Wellbutrin did was it basically "made" me quit smoking cigarettes overnight. It was amazing how easy it was! But that was all - no relief for ADHD.

So just recently I've switched to Concerta (FYI - Concerta is just the brand name for extended release generic RITALIN). And wow, I think I've finally found the medicine for me! I was worried at first about addiction because Concerta is in the same category as Vyvanse/Aderall (All are Schedule II Controled Substances). When I take the Concerta I do get a *similar* buzzy feeling as I did with the Vyvanse, which makes sense because all of these stimulants are similar on the molecular level.

But even at the "peak" of its effect, Concerta feels to me a bit calmer, gentler, less "harsh" and "blunt" than the amphetamines do. Concerta gives me the focus and "go-get-em" attitude I so badly need... just without the added anxiety & speed-freak feeling I got with Vyvanse.

For me the strongest noticeable effects of Concerta last about the same time as Vyvanse. The difference is that for whatever reason, the "come down" of Concerta is just a lot gentler & easier. I'm able to come home at night focused on my life instead of feeling terrible, anxious, needing a drink or something. I'm finally starting to feel like the "real me" I know is inside here somewhere...

The "come down" of Vyvanse/Adderall (and crack cocaine)... was always the worst part, the part that drives you crazy enough to keep popping pills. I'll admit the temptation to abuse Concerta does still enter my head, but instead of being a constant obsession it's more of a... periodic annoying thought. Can't even convey how freeing that is.

I've only been taking it for 10 days, so I don't know for sure yet. Plus everything affects everyone differently. But if you've actually taken enough time to read about my experience and you feel like you can personally identify with me then maybe you should consider trying the non-amphetamines. You just might be able to find that middle ground, having your cake and eating it too. Since I'm new to Concerta I'll be sure and update/edit this if my experience with it takes a bad turn.

LAST main point: I wanna say that I have stronger willpower than most people. I hate sounding conceited, but I really think that's why I've [so far] managed to "mentally handle" Concerta without letting that big addictive side of me screw everything up. But I wasn't a strong enough person to resist the Vyvanse & Adderall. Many are... I'd say just remember that no matter how fabulous a person is, we all have weaknesses. If you aren't strong enough to handle a strong drug, then admit it quick and get it out of your life... before you end up being not strong enough to do anything else at all...


NOTE: There are many others brands of Concerta... one that interests me is Daytona-- a skin patch that releases the same medicine at a constant rate for 9 hours. Still possible to abuse if someone's desperate enough, but it just seems even more addict-friendly than pills. Just a thought.

HAH, I really do hope someone out there got something out of this crazy-long post!

[psydefects]

@ThreeAeroplanes

mate, watch your step for your sake now. You' re put on Concerta, Methylphenidate PR this time, and you're the first i hear saying he likes Concerta, so after your problems with Vyvanse, you get MPH in the most ****tiest form and you say you like it.

Concerta peaks 8 hrs after dosing. I hope you don't mind me saying that your psych has outdated info on what can be abused and how. He takes you away from Vyvance and puts you on Concerta, which has the highest content of MPH among all brands worlwide. It can be made IR easily, since i don't remember how long ago. That means it's not abuse proof, and it's high mg content makes it a candidate for abuse. On the other hand Vyvanse IS still abuse-proof. (well, if you take 5x your prescribed dose it's not, but no med is abuse-proof when dosed way over the theapeutic dose, even orally.).

It's like someones takes your airgun away from you and gives you a real gun but with the security engaged, and let's you have this instead. What will happen when your mind starts thinking dirty? It has done it the past.

Take care of yourself bro, because trust me you don't want to find out what MPH abrupt cessation feels like.....

[ThreeAeroplanes]

Thanks for the thoughts...

Yeah, you may be right. I went on about "willpower" but it's risky to have to rely on that all the time.

I did want to say though that I know a couple of people taking this medicine, and it seems to be working for them. But I also know a couple of people who decided to stop taking it in favor of nothing...

The other day I was having a particularly good day so I was feeling upbeat about Concerta, but not as much since then. I'm on the free trial still which I'll run out of soon. When it comes time to decide to stick with it or not, I'll need to do some honest thinking...

[siglerja]

1.) You should probably have your diagnosis re-evaluated. Typical ADHDers get a different effect from Adderall than a person without ADHD. While it initially makes you feel good, up, positive, energetic and activated, this is NOT the purpose of the medication. It isn't a mood stabilizer, an anti-depressant or an energy pill. Adderall helps you concentrate, and if you're taking it expecting to recapture the initial feelings of euphoria, you're not going to get there. The raised pulse and effects you're describing also point to it not being the correct medication or a problem with the diagnosis - A typical ADHDer gets a calming effect from stimulant medication. Euphoric effects from amphetamine would generally be "calming", but the total of symptoms you're describing aren't really consistent with a typical ADHD response to the meds. My experience with Adderall was somewhat similar - Initial effects were outstanding, however fleeting. I tried doses up to 50mg a day but the positive effects continued to decrease while the negatives increased. It turned out that Adderall initially treated long-standing depression I had, but once the euphoric effects on dopamine wore off, I returned to the depressed state with increased anxiety. I tried everything to get back to it, from snorting the meds to taking more than I was supposed to, and found myself in a really bad place. The downturn of Adderall or dependence / addiction can also trigger depressive symptoms, and when you're depressed, you do whatever you can to feel better - Adderall has a tendency to make a person easily justify things that may not be good for them, which can lead to some bad decision making. Not a fun trip. I had my diagnosis re-done and was still ADHD, but with depression and anxiety. Four months of complete misery later, I settled on 30mg of Adderall per day, 150mg of Wellbutrin and 75mg of Zoloft. This combination has worked for me by providing an even level of energy, fighting the increased depression from the Adderall rollercoaster and improving my concentration and cognitive function.

2.) It might be time to talk to an addiction specialist. If you're searching your house for hidden pill bottles, you've gone beyond the point where a psychiatrist and your parents are equipped to deal with your situation. Adderall is one of most addicting substances on the planet, and at around 100mg, you're in pretty deep. The standard maximum dose for an adult is 40mg per day, and while some people are obviously on much more than this, they typically get there over a period of several years as a tollerance develops. As someone who has used cocaine and other street drugs, none of these carry the unique combination of self-justification, increasing dependence and subsequent lower-than-low lows that Adderall does. It will make you think things and reason in a way that isn't at all healthy, because you're entirely focused on feeling "better" and the only way you're going to feel better during Adderall withdrawal is from more Adderall. The withdrawal, especially from a dose as high as yours, can be absolutely dreadful - Your brain is used to this massive assault of chemicals on a regular basis, and it isn't going to enjoy going back. If you have access to it, you will take it, and while some people have had success in slowly tapering down their dose, the daily crashes and slow withdrawal can sometimes be even worse, and you'll be even more temped to abuse it.

It's hard to be honest with yourself about a problem, but it sounds like you're having a serious problem with stimulant medication and need to get help. I have seen numerous people get perscribed Adderall for ADHD that wasn't actually ADHD, burn out on it in six months and turn to coke or meth to chase the initial rush they got from it. They wake up a year or two later and wonder what in the world happened to their life and how they managed to get themselves in so deep. Opening up to your parents and your shrink is a big step, but being honest with your own self about your situation and what you need to do to get stable and non-dependant is the only thing that's going to help you. You have to recognize that the positive feelings you felt from Adderall were just drug-induced euphoria, they aren't coming back and chasing them could ruin your life.

I would suggest seeing an addiction specialist, being as honest with your family and doctors as possible and getting off stimulant medication entirely. It may take several months to get back to ground zero from a dose that high, but you'll be happy you did in the long run. It sounds like you benefitted from the dopamine-enhancing properties of Adderall - You may want to look into Wellbutrin, which is one of very few medications that actively work on dopamine. Some people use Wellbutrin to get off of Adderall and it acts as a stable, uplifting medication that can level off withdrawal and also treat ADHD symptoms.

Hang in there, and good luck.

[ThreeAeroplanes]

Siglerja-- I really do appreciate your input. It's hard to put my finger on it but you obviously have *some kind* of experience (with yourself or others) dealing with these specific issues.

But at the same time, you mentioned I should "look into" Wellbutrin as an alternative option.

You obviously didn't read my original post, carefully or at all. I HAVE tried Wellbutrin and it was ineffective except for that it made me quit smoking cigs (AWESOME, sure, but it still didn't treat my ADHD)

I know my post was long but please read it in its entirety before you comment.

[siglerja]

Wellbutrin is a tricky med, it can have different effects on different dosages. If you tried 150mg, you might want to try 350 and see if that works. Also, it can have a long onset period if other medications are involved - Unsure of how long you tried it, but I'd say a month to six weeks would be a good trial period. Wellbutrin and Abilify are the primary dopamine medications - Some people have success with a stimulant and Abilify. It acts on some of the same receptors, recovering cocaine users have had positive results using it. It made me too jittery, so I opted for Wellbutrin / Zoloft instead. Keep in mind that no medication is going to make you feel "good" while going hrough amphetamine withdrawal, so you have to try to be objective. Try not to get caught up in reclaiming the initial feelings Adderall gave you, that's not coming back and if you detox for a certain amount of time and then come back with a large dose, you can really mess yourself up. A return to normal from your dose could take up to three months, and I've seen people go through lingering withdrawals and congnitive / depression issues up to six months.

Diet and exercise are also a good way to get through it. While you probably don't feel like doing anything but sitting on the couch, getting some natural endorphins going will slowly start to get your head working on normal stimulation again. Making sure you're getting vitamins and proper nutrition is also important, Adderall can have a negative impact on your body's ability to absorb certain nutrients and can exacerbate fatigue. I drink Ensure shakes, they seem to help. Other less aggressive stimulants like caffine, taurine, vitamin B drinks, etc can also help in the early stages to get yourself going again.

[ThreeAeroplanes]

Hey it's been awhile since I was on here.

But I just logged on and read my last comment and wanted to say sorry, I didn't meant to sound like such a jerk to you. I don't post to forums much and I misunderstood the context of what you said about Wellbutrin -- after I read the whole thread. Again sorry bout that

[siglerja]

How goes the Adderall battle?

[Gottamakeit]

This is not an easy battle. I have read so many stories simular to my own, I never even thought about feeling like or thinking I would NEED this med when it was initially perscribed. got into a bad relationship with a druggie, things turned bad, my life went upside down, all around me...ie..manly health issues, problems with my mom,and the poison that was my relationship at the time.- and there I was in the middle of it using adderall to cope...more and more and more.. now, I stand at a place where I will either need to face the music or risk losing it all-as I have alreadly lost or compromised so much. I believe I need to quit this drug and pronto! I was perscribed it for my adhd about 5years ago.. however, since a car wreck, I have also been diagnosed with narcolepsy..no, I dont just fall asleep anywhere, its more an issue of, being fully alert or in zone out mode, kinda thing, dont really think I have it. either way, I do get really mentally exusted quick, and feel like Im just extremely lazy, which im not at all, well not typically anyway. so fighting this feeling along with,running a household, dealing with heartache,break,deception,and just plain ole stress, plus trying to keep up with daily task, random health issues and schoolwork...- I just feel so overwhelmed and at the mercy of the quick fix, that has seemed to completely strip me of my once prized creativity. I want it back! I feel so empty inside. but figuring out where to start cleaning things up in itself is overwhelming. however as of right now.. I actually feel like I am headed in the right direction..1 i am beginning to slow my dosage of adderall...on my own, though i am farrrrrr from out of the woods, this is quite a tricky drug, after abusing it the last year and a half, I almost feel like an empty shell when I dont take it. and like a slave to it when I do. I think my dopamine is all screwed around..is there anyway to get it back on track?? my perscribed dose of adderall was up to 30 xr twice daily and has been reduced to 20xr twice daily...what I got myslef up to taking I have no clue, but it was way up there. after the car accident is when i first noticed iT didnt feel the same when I took my meds... I have all kinds of subsequent symptoms.. its a very robotic way of life. I no longer have any fun, or even remember how to. which sucks major. this site is a GOD send. I am headed off to bed but i wanted to get the ball rolling and start speaking up for myself again. so I decided to post tonight. be back soon with part2, lol, of this crazy life I live. til then however, feel free to comment, Lord knows I need all the support I can get right now...Its good to know im not alone.. expecially while in such a lonely place.

[TheChemicals]

I am a med rookie, but i soooo want to abuse my meds. I have to try very hard not to double dose and slam caffeine with it. Its not even too much that im trying to enhance the effects but that im trying to experience the effects of the meds when i first took them- which was like heaven, i thought i was cured. Now i cant even tell if they are working or not.

[1980]

Originally Posted by giggles26

I agree, I would stay away from Adderall. I just stopped taking 90mg a day cold turkey and it sucked. I still feel really tired all the time and like I am in a fog, but after the intial like 2 days or so, I noticed a huge difference and starting feeling "normal" again instead of a cracked out drug user. I too have never even smoked pot, and have a bad habit of taking lower what I am supposed to in meds, but I could tell I was on a slippery slope of addiction and I am glad I quit when I did. Things are looking up for me, and if I were you stop making excuses why you need on adderall.

After 2 days you felt ok? After two days i was sucidal, horrible cold/hot flashes.I sweat so bad that when i got a cold flash I couldnt get warm. I was rocking back and forth shaking uncontrollably, my teeth chattered so bad I thought they would chip. How long were u on 90mg a day, before u went cold turkey? My hats off to you. I know I will need professional help if I stop being on this.I mean, i realise I am going to die one day and I am not afraid of death. However I don't want to die drowning because I jumped in the river...its a scary feeling comteplating "that".
Dark i mean dark, I never want to revisit what i did Dec.28, 2010.
I can not do it alone I would need help. All that to say Congrats. I couldn't go that long and I am not even @ tht high of a dose.

[AddYourAll]

Originally Posted by little_worlds

I Abuse, on the other hand, is virtually impossibe(beyond taking it w/o a script) because it is XR and so by the time it wears off, taking another dose means another 8-12 hours. Dosing again will just keep you awake all night until you're at your regular morning dose. Essentially, abuse of Vyv will lead to nothing except sleep deprivation and body aches from being awake for days on end. It cannot be crushed like adderall xr to make it an IR, and it needs to be absorbed through the stomach lining, so it cannot be snorted. Basically, for better or worse, they've finally made an amphetamine that's effective and has very low abuse potential.

err,..no. Vyvance can be abused. It is abused. Ever hear of anyone taking 5 pills at once, then 5 more, you get the picture...It's schedule II, and for someone talking about crushing addy beads... you sound naive. I take vyvance as well, but if someone is an addict ,and their drug of choice-amphetamine-it is a common fallacy to assume the drug is un-abusable. Insomnia is a big problem causing hallucinations, malnutrition, and so forth. Its dexedrine essentially - not a drug finally made. If the addicts' DOC is dexedrine, sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, they will find a way to abuse it. Some buy into the propaganda. dexedrine + propaganda= Vyvance! Oh, forgot about the lysine attachment,...damn

[425runner]

Vyvanse is very addicting! At least for me...tolerance builds quickly and it allows me to focus better then any other med. I'm prescribed Dexedrine ER 10mg bid but don't even feel it. 70-120 mg Vyvanse and I can sit still for 3-4 hrs, study, focus on whatever needs to be done and feel great! The withdrawals are not pleasant, however....we took a vacation to Las Vegas and all I wanted to do was lay by the pool or watch TV, extremely tired.....

I still have some leftover Vyvanse and "supplement" my current prescription whenever I can because it relieves depression, I get so much done and feel great! I really need to stop this, maybe get off stimulants altogether or find a different shrink, can't afford it right now. I've been unemployed for 11 months and studying for the CPA exam and my therapist said I should go back to taking my meds, but I admit...been abusing them

Yes, I take Wellbutrin XL 150 daily as well as tyrosine but those things don't really help with focus. As a matter of fact, Wellbutrin makes me hyper and I can't sit still. If I take Klonopin or theanine then I feel sluggish and it's just not good overall.

Recently, I had a mouth injury and got rxd. Tramadol and boy..oh boy...was that a great pain reliever!! It brightened my mood and made me feel very happy & content. I'd prefer to abuse that one, just 50mg/day, but reading about the withdrawals scares the hell out of me.