How to tell a nice guy from a good guy?

[T-Rex65]

A "good" guy treats you well because...well, just because. A "nice" guy expects something in return for treating you well.

A "good" guy will be decent and respectful to everyone, including you, your server, the person who asks to cut in front of you in traffic, the homeless person on the corner, the sales clerk, his grandmother, his employees, etc. The "nice" guy resents having to be "nice" to the people he wants something from, and so he will take it out on the people who have less power than he does.

More importantly, a "good" guy will speak up, or do something, if he sees someone else being abused. A "nice" guy won't really care.

Yes, I've thought about this quite a bit. :-)

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

i think a nice guy is someone who, when your in a mood and you say " go f**k yourself!" knows that deep down you are just mad and not trying to push him away. A nice guy is someone who will let you have your moods, without judgement and without taking it personal. Just my opinion though.

Originally Posted by Drewbacca

That makes me a a jerk, because I take things personally.

I'm with both of you. I take things personally too. Like the other day I got upset with my boyfriend for "yelling" at me. (I am sound sensitive and hate being yelled at.) I had asked him "Where did you get your hair cut?" and I didn't hear an answer, so I asked again and he shouted "I SAID, 'YESTERDAY!'" which wasn't even the answer to the question I asked. But I have a bad reaction to being yelled at, so I got upset with him. Yes, he partly yelled to be heard over very loud machinery that was running but it still hit me the wrong way. So I told him I wasn't leaving until he apologized for yelling at me, and if I was late for work because of it it would be his fault. (I know, not really true, but I was really not in the mood to be yelled at and to let it pass if somebody did yell at me.) I said "Are you going to apologize so I can go to work?" and he said "Yes! Sorry!" which immediately diffused my hurt/anger and I left satisfied.

However, when I stopped by the next day on my way to work he was kind of ornery with me. I realized later that it was because he didn't realize that as soon as he had apologized the day before I completely stopped being upset with him and that for me the whole thing was over and done with, and now a day later he was feeling apprehensive and defensive because he thought he'd still be in the doghouse, and that made him tense. So not only did I probably take too personally his yelling at me, but a day later he was still taking it personally that I had been mad at him for like five minutes and was still worried that I was.

I don't think we can help taking these things personally, and it's hard to feel free to ignore or disregard when somebody we care about is upset. So while we wish sometimes that we could just have our moods and be done with them without causing any aftermath, it is nice to know that somebody cares so much about you that it affects their happiness when you are unhappy.

[Rebelyell]

IM a good guy then If some one tells me to funk off Im gone.

[TheChemicals]

Nice is just what guys do to get some *****....hello? Am i the only one here to know this ancient mystical cryptic knowledge?

Good people are found in church or working hard to raise or start a family. Good people are not troubled with internal issues.

[TheChemicals]

Originally Posted by Rebelyell

IM a good guy then If some one tells me to funk off Im gone.

ugh, no your a nice guy. A good guy would stay and fight fair.

[Rebelyell]

Im not gonna put up w a woman whos verbally abusive and NO I will stand my ground if something is not right .OH its gonna get loud and ugly fast and some one is gonna hear itespecially if you cuss at me or become disrespectful towards me.This gal needs the total bad boy and ahole right off the bat.Nice guys finish last.I choose to be a nice guy but If I really wanted to I could be a downright nasty mean spirited ahole I just chose not to be.Hmmm maybe that my problem

[RedHairedWitch]

If someone expected me to apologize for speaking louder to be heard over machinery, in order to answer a question they had asked me ... I would refuse to apologize *nods*

[Rebelyell]

kicks chemicals in the nads for offending meno 1 calls me nice and gets away w itno one except maybe rhw

[Flory]

i dont like nice guys .....

[TheChemicals]

Originally Posted by Florence1989

i dont like nice guys .....

Im very very nice.

[Flory]

^ thats too bad

[Rebelyell]

I love my crapstink attitude

[Flory]

rebel you have turned into a badass ^_^ whats happening, wanna hook up lol

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by RedHairedWitch

If someone expected me to apologize for speaking louder to be heard over machinery, in order to answer a question they had asked me ... I would refuse to apologize *nods*

It was actually more than that in this instance. It was the tone. You know the one. Where the person repeats what they said in an exaggeratedly strong tone (which even that I could understand if they had been asked to repeat themselves, say, five times. But the second time was too soon for that.) Plus the fact that the tone implied that there was something wrong with ME for asking again, when HE hadn't even answered the actual question asked because he hadn't heard it. No, an apology was definitely in order. I was right about that much, even if I was a little extra cranky and sensitive that day. The difference was that on an average day I might not have stuck up for myself and demanded the apology I deserved.

[TheChemicals]

Yeh rebel has manned up- i dont even talk back to him anymore, guy scares me.