Was just diagnosed with ADHD and I don't believe it

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by footballer010

Sorry. That was said in jest. I have a very immature sense of humor.

I don't want to become psychologically dependent on a pill. I think that'd be more damaging to my self-esteem than actually failing tests. Idk we will see.

If you don't think you need the pills then don't take them, but some people have no choice but take them to be able to do what you can do without being on them.
I can only study with them. Heck, I can only read with them unless I'm really able to hyper focus on reading. But I hardly have a memory without medication.

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by tudorose

It's up to you whether you accept the diagnosis.

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks.

I was in denial for quite some time. I even disputed the existence of ADHD. I had 3 professional opinions and then battled with the idea of being ADHD for over a decade.

Ultimately acceptance or non-acceptance of this is totally up to you.

I am a big disappointed.

I'm glad you no longer see things that way.

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by footballer010

After days of deliberation, I've come to the conclusion that I don't have ADD or if I do, its not nowhere near the point where I should take medication for it. Rather, I think I'll take advantage of some ADD counseling. After all, I was diagnosed for it, after a quick 2 minute assessment, which really makes me question that psychologist's competence btw.

Being psychologically dependent on a drug, yes it would bother me.



Some people are too weak-minded to part with a substance because they think they can't function without it, when they can. If someone took your fish oil and replaced it with a placebo, and you don't notice, its clear that you are psychologically dependent. I'm not saying thats the case, btw.

I also mentioned taking an ACE inhibitor for hypertension and wearing
glasses, but you don't say anything about being "weak-minded" or
"psychologically dependant" on those things.

People have been taught that they can change their brains by changing
their thinking - and it's not always true. Sometimes those problems are
physical problems rather than mental. MRIs have shown that the brain of
a child with ADHD is physically smaller in key areas (like the pre-frontal
cortex) than a child without ADHD. There is nothing psychological about
those brain differences.

[fracturedstory]

Fish oil makes me hyper so I'd notice.

We take the damn medication because our neurotransmitters aren't firing how they are supposed to. We have a very narrow window of focus/motivation and our memory is almost non existent. Mine is at least. I spent 24 years off medication and I just couldn't learn that way. Basically my life was a mess. I couldn't even do work experience. I spent another 2 months off meds after a short break and I couldn't cut it. I certainly couldn't work on my novel and that is my work, that is what I do. That's all I've got going for me.
The medication also decreases my severe noise and light sensitivity. It is usually painful, overwhelming.The medication makes me more social.

I take the weekends off to have a break. It seems I can't be on my meds for a whole week or I get tired and they really don't work as well, so I break. Some weekends are torture to get through. But I do it because I need to be on my game on Monday. I'm pretty intense with my reading/writing throughout the week.

I'm not psychologically dependent on them, I'm chemically deficient and these meds provide those chemicals. It may not be a perfect solution but it's the best I got.

If there was a pill to control autistic symptoms I might be inclined to try it. Then again maybe I'll just take oxytocin.

Ya know, sometimes I enjoy my ADHD, then it sort of gets in the way of me being able to do anything. My impulses get me in debt or just wondering what made me buy that useless piece of junk. I also say things people take as inappropriate. I'm also a moody lil bugger. I also cannot choose when I can read or even write a coherent sentence.

And now my damn ADHD is keeping me from going to bed and I got soooo much to do tomorrow. Good thing I got me pills.

[footballer010]

Originally Posted by Lunacie

I also mentioned taking an ACE inhibitor for hypertension and wearing
glasses, but you don't say anything about being "weak-minded" or
"psychologically dependant" on those things.

People have been taught that they can change their brains by changing
their thinking - and it's not always true. Sometimes those problems are
physical problems rather than mental. MRIs have shown that the brain of
a child with ADHD is physically smaller in key areas (like the pre-frontal
cortex) than a child without ADHD. There is nothing psychological about
those brain differences.

That is because I assumed you would apply the same premise to your ACE inhibitor. Can you become psychologically dependent on prescription glasses? I suppose, but you'd need to have 20/20 vision or near perfect vision, and not perform visual tasks as well as you would with the glasses.

There are people who cannot perform daily activities without the medication, I understand that. However, I am not in that group. I've worked, I excel academically. Many of the problems here, I don't have or I have them to a lesser degree. And that was the point of my previous post. I don't believe I need to put myself in the situation where I am dependent on a stimulant to get me through the day, when, in fact, I don't need it.

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by footballer010

That is because I assumed you would apply the same premise to your ACE inhibitor. Can you become psychologically dependent on prescription glasses? I suppose, but you'd need to have 20/20 vision or near perfect vision, and not perform visual tasks as well as you would with the glasses.

There are people who cannot perform daily activities without the medication, I understand that. However, I am not in that group. I've worked, I excel academically. Many of the problems here, I don't have or I have them to a lesser degree. And that was the point of my previous post. I don't believe I need to put myself in the situation where I am dependent on a stimulant to get me through the day, when, in fact, I don't need it.

I see. I didn't get that from your previous post. Why would anyone take
meds that they don't need, or wear eyeglasses if not needed? If you're
sure you have no impairments from having ADHD, that's great.

However, lots of people with cormorbid Anxiety and Depression report that
taking ADHD meds leads to improvement in both those disorders. Might be
worth trying on that front.

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by footballer010

After days of deliberation, I've come to the conclusion that I don't have ADD or if I do, its not nowhere near the point where I should take medication for it. Rather, I think I'll take advantage of some ADD counseling. After all, I was diagnosed for it, after a quick 2 minute assessment, which really makes me question that psychologist's competence btw.

Being psychologically dependent on a drug, yes it would bother me.

Some people are too weak-minded to part with a substance because they think they can't function without it, when they can. If someone took your fish oil and replaced it with a placebo, and you don't notice, its clear that you are psychologically dependent. I'm not saying thats the case, btw.

Well, good luck with that. I have the strong feeling you'll need it.

[footballer010]

Originally Posted by spunkysmum

Well, good luck with that. I have the strong feeling you'll need it.

uh, thanks?

[ana futura]

Hi footballer010-

I was just like you- very incredulous of my diagnosis. One of the most unfortunate ironies of ADHD is that ADHD makes you terrible at self observation. I still question my diagnosis, because that's just how my ADHD brain works. I have to constantly ask my partner if she really thinks I have ADHD (the answer is always yes).

I was also really opposed to the idea of medication- and I still am. I have no desire to stay on this stuff long term for a variety of reasons, one of them being that part of me really likes myself unmedicated.

I really struggle with the difference between ADHD and laziness- and the conclusion I've come to is that ADHD = lazy, and lazy = ADHD. People aren't just lazy for the hell of it when it's not in their own self interest. A lot of my behaviors scream lazy, but I don't really want to be lazy, it's like I can't help it. I've never met a lazy person who actively decided to be lazy, the laziness is always a symptom of something greater- like depression or ADHD. The more I think about laziness, the more I think the whole concept of laziness is BS, it's just a made up term designed to antagonize people who aren't functioning in accord with our society.

So, all that being said, I am SO HAPPY that I decided to try medication, even though I have a lot of reservations about using it. Why? Because it has taught me so much about myself, and my ADHD. ADHD goes waaayyyy beyond just not being able to focus, it impacts almost every single area of my life. I had no idea how greatly ADHD affected me until I took medication. I could instantly see the difference, it was like night and day. I could actually see how my brain worked with increased executive functioning abilities, it was awesome.

I've learned so much from meds, and a lot of the things I've learned stay with me when I'm off meds. I've learned what behaviors are ADHD behaviors, and I'm better able to keep them in check in my daily life.

I highly recommend that you at least try a low dose of meds for a short period, at least a week. Meds are very easy for me to go on and off of. The "withdrawal" period is very short, if you take meds for a couple weeks and then stop you might have 2 days of feeling bleh and low energy. I'm in no way way dependent on meds to function- when I go off meds in 4 days I return fully to the same level of functionality I was at before I started taking them.

My attitude towards meds is very different than a lot of folks here, but I think you and I share a similar view. You can be anti-med and still learn a lot from the experience of taking them.

The thing that got me comfortable with trying meds at all was I read a quote from someone talking about how they viewed meds as a learning experience, not as a long term solution. Whether or not they work for you as a long term solution, they are invaluable as a learning experience.

Also, In my opinion ADHD coaching is extremely helpful, I highly recommend it.

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by footballer010

That is because I assumed you would apply the same premise to your ACE inhibitor. Can you become psychologically dependent on prescription glasses? I suppose, but you'd need to have 20/20 vision or near perfect vision, and not perform visual tasks as well as you would with the glasses.

There are people who cannot perform daily activities without the medication, I understand that. However, I am not in that group. I've worked, I excel academically. Many of the problems here, I don't have or I have them to a lesser degree. And that was the point of my previous post. I don't believe I need to put myself in the situation where I am dependent on a stimulant to get me through the day, when, in fact, I don't need it.

You called people weak minded and psychologically dependent on medication. That's not exactly saying your symptoms aren't as bad so you don't want to take the medication.

I hate it how people try to cover their a** by saying they never actually said something they said when people call them on it. I suppose I do it too, though I admit to it when I become aware of it. It's an ADHD trait to say one thing and later say something else, because you forgot what you said before.

One other thing the medication helps me with is learn to be a more open minded and empathetic person so I hardly call people weak minded any more. Maybe Ana is right about learning about who you are. But in all honesty I don't want people on medication if they aren't impaired by ADHD, functionally. So, I respect your decision to not take medication. I don't like needing to take it. I wish I had the kind of brain that could just read pages and pages, stay up for 40 hours writing or just take care of my house and health without loads and loads of lists. I found out today I do much better drawing on a higher dose than on a lower dose, and can barely draw at all on no dose. And I thought I was a good artist. Of course it's just that experiencing how much better I could work with the meds that made me see how I struggled to draw without. Properly starting with circles and slowly adding detail. It's taken me about five days to design a poster. Without meds if it took longer than 2 hours (depending on how much focus I could put into it - I spent seven hours designing a poster one day) I'd give up. I meant to make several drafts of this poster but I ran out of time.

[T-Rex65]

Lazy vs. ADHD? Well, from my point of view, being lazy is easy and kind of fun. ADHD is difficult, and usually not much fun at all.

[T-Rex65]

If you can function well without the meds, then that's awesome. As you get older, as your health changes, and as your life circumstances change, you may find that you need the meds after all. So don't completely write off the possibility that you may benefit from them in the future, even if you don't need them today.

[ana futura]

Originally Posted by fracturedstory

One other thing the medication helps me with is learn to be a more open minded and empathetic person so I hardly call people weak minded any more. Maybe Ana is right about learning about who you are. But in all honesty I don't want people on medication if they aren't impaired by ADHD, functionally. So, I respect your decision to not take medication. I don't like needing to take it. I wish I had the kind of brain that could just read pages and pages, stay up for 40 hours writing or just take care of my house and health without loads and loads of lists.

"Impaired" is relative. What I consider "unimpaired" might be greatly impaired for someone else. I can't speak for footballer, but I don't really consider myself that impared. However, compared to the expectations some people have of themselves on the forums, I am greatly impaired, both on and off meds.

It takes me easily 10 times as long to do anything as it would a normal person. This improves with meds, but not dramatically. Meds do help me with a lot of other things- being on time, being more considerate of other people, being able to self reflect.

But meds come with this whole host of other crap that I don't want. I don't actually want to be more self aware. I don't want to feel like I have even more night time energy than before. I don't want my peak periods of functionality governed by meds- on meds I have to have a normal schedule, and do my work during the day. I don't want to work during the day, I want to work at night. In order to get full benefits from meds, I have to radically alter my life, and I don't want to do that. I also get side effects and I hate the uneven feeling of being on meds. So I often make do with being the same level of impaired I've always been, and I take meds when I really have to get something done.

It is my belief that the higher your expectations are of yourself, the more impared you perceive yourself to be.

I am unemployed, able to take one graduate course a semester, usually don't start my day until 2pm, live in squalor, have panic attacks when I try to read, and can barely keep houseplants alive.

Yet I still consider myself able to "function" without meds. Is this really functioning? I don't know, functioning is relative. But I think I manage. If meds didn't have so many drawbacks, I would take them without reservations. I think for a lot of us, the meds that are currently available are not a perfect solution. Meds come with trade offs, nothing is without a price.

[ana futura]

Originally Posted by T-Rex65

Lazy vs. ADHD? Well, from my point of view, being lazy is easy and kind of fun. ADHD is difficult, and usually not much fun at all.

I have yet to meet a truly lazy person who does not have some other issue, they don't exist. Anyone who is lazy when it is not in their own self interest has a problem.

The only people who can afford to be lazy are the idle rich. If you have enough money that you can afford to be lazy without messing up your life, more power to you.

[T-Rex65]

Originally Posted by ana futura

The only people who can afford to be lazy are the idle rich. If you have enough money that you can afford to be lazy without messing up your life, more power to you.

Yes. Lazy is a luxury.