alternative schools(eg Montessori) and ADHD

[olismum]

Hello,

I'm new to the Forum, and so am not sure if this question has been asked before. Does anyone have any personal experience of their child attending a Montessori or Steiner Waldorf school, who has ADHD? I would love any information regarding this, especially if you live in Australia or even western Australia. Any info would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

[LynneC]

Hi olismum and welcome!

My son went to a Montessori preschool here in the States and we loved it. It was a very hands-on approach to learning and it allowed for a lot of movement in the classroom.

I would suggest that you go and visit a classroom in session so you can observe the instruction methods.

If we could afford it, I'd send my son to the private Montessori school that's near us. I do think that for my child, his learning style fits well with the Montessori approach.

[Sandy4957]

I went to a Montessori school and ended up way, way, WAY ahead in reading just because I excelled at it.

Worked for me.

[sarahsweets]

I wish my kids had the opportunity t attend a montessori preschool. They were ok with what they had but i bet they would have excelled much more if given the the option of that kind of school.

[ccom5100]

I used a Waldorf program when I homeschooled my ds in 5th grade and would have continued the program throughout middle school, but he was picked in the lottery for a charter school in 6th grade, so I discontinued the homeschooling. I liked the Waldorf curriculum very much and it was well-suited for him.

I think either the Waldorf or Montessori would be a great fit for an adhd child. Both are more flexible in terms of learning style than you would get in a regular public school environment (at least here in the US).

[TygerSan]

I love Montessori, especially for the younger grades, BUT, the teachers have to be attuned to the kids in the class. . .otherwise a distractible kiddo might get lost or stuck. . .

I may be the exception rather than the rule, but I think that beyond Kdg, I would have been really overwhelmed in a Montessori environment. . . too many choices and too much movement and interaction would not have been such a good thing for me.

[olismum]

Thanks so much for all your responses. My son is in Yr 2 and is quite academically sound. However, he seems to be lacking in friends eg no after school plays or birthday parties. His teacher is very supportive. I've recently got him into scouts, which he really seems to be enjoying.
Thanks once again for all your messages.

[CheekyMonkey]

I don't think I enjoyed any school. I went to Montessori for preschool and hated it. I didn't care for public school either. I think I did not enjoy being "forced" on someone else's schedule, and even in the freer environment of Montessori, I apparently still disliked school.

[Shawver83]

My son went to a Montessori pre-k and kindergarten, and he still had problems. He was distracted and impulsive and bothered the other kids a lot. He did slightly better in a more structured class at the same school.

[olismum]

Hi, my son was diagnosed with ADHD in 2011, when he was 7. We tried him on Ritalin, then it was recommended he try Concerta. Unfortunately, it did not work well and the doctor immediately took him off it. We then went back to Ritalin LA, which is working much better. To make a long story short, while he was on Concerta he had massive mood swings and became increasingly aggressive. Since then, he has been on the outer, not being invited to friends' homes, birthday parties etc, and I have been getting the cold shoulder from other mums who used to be friendly with me. Suggestions for playdates etc have all been met with excuses. I feel quite hurt by this, as I've known these mums and their kids since kindy, almost 4 years. The teacher says my son is included in class activities and recess by other children, but never after school. I know it's ignorance on the part of the other mums, but I still feel it especially for my son. Has anyone else ever experienced this? He likes school and his teacher, so I don't really want to change that. Should I just ignore this behaviour? thanks very much for any advice, suggestions or comments

[manismom]

Olismum-

So sorry. I feel your pain! But, you don't mention if your son seems bothered by the lack on invites. If he doesn't seem bothered, try not to share your anxiety with him if you can help it.

It can take a while for kids to develop friendships. I don't know how old your son would be at "year 2" in Australia, but he may need some help from you.

First, you might want to talk about what makes a good friend and make sure that he understands. He probably won't really ~ be~ a good friend until he gets a chance to practice these concepts, but NO kids start out being good listeners, sharers, etc.

Next, he needs a chance to practice those skills. If the "old" friends won't play, try to find some activities that he will be good at and enroll him. It will give him a chance to meet new kids and they will start off with a common interest. And if it is something he is GOOD at, his new friends won't see him as a kid with a problem, but the kid who is good at XYZ.

You might also try throwing a party at your home. Daunting, I know. But keep it simple but FUN. Send out enticing invitations to ALL the kids he knows and ask the parents to come also. When I did this (more than once, I might add), I invited 30+ kids. You want a chance to have a wide variety of kids there. You might also consider having beers or light cocktails for the grown-ups so they stick around. This will give your son a chance to show off his home to the kids in his class, which my kids think is GREAT fun. But more importantly, it will give you a chance to meet and talk to other parents.

If the parents who have been shunning you come, you would have a chance to show your son in a better light and get to the bottom of why they stopped accepting invites. I don't think it is out of line to ask if something has happened to make them uncomfortable. If they act like jerks or continue to reject invitations, move on. Find other people to hang out with. If they can't accept that kids screw up sometimes and deserve not just 2nd chances, but 3rd, 4th, 15th, 22nd, 57th, and 423rd chances, then do you REALLY want your son hanging around with them?

Kids relationships can be complicated and heartbreaking. But almost all kids experience some of that heartbreak and survive. All they really need (in my opinion) is ONE really good friend. It may take a while to find that 1 good friend, so just keep trying. And make sure that your son understands, as much as he can, that we do NOT have to be friends with everyone. Its OK if someone doesn't like us. We all have people who we like and those who we don't particularly get along with. But we should all treat one another with the respect that a fellow human being deserves. In other words, its OK not to like someone; its NOT OK to make fun of that person because we don't like them.

Good luck. Hang in there.