Was just diagnosed with ADHD and I don't believe it

[Slo-mo a-go-go]

Originally Posted by AbsentMindProf

ADHD is not laziness.

In graduate school I sometimes had to record the lectures on tape and work 100+ hours a week to get good grades despite my disorganization and poor attention. Does that sound like I'm lazy? Or does it sound like there is a legitimate disorder there that took a great deal of effort to cope with?

Thank you so much for putting it this way, AbsentMindProf!!

That is my experience now that I'm on meds, have to do so much extra work to make up the deficit gap. But being on meds shows me that when I have the choice, I want to and will do whatever it takes to reach my goal, even it takes all my free time and energy!

Just don't depend on me to remember to call you back or get to my appt on time!

[ana futura]

Also, I think a great many people don't realize how impared they are by ADHD until they see what they are like medicated. ADHD and poor self observation go hand in hand.

[footballer010]

Originally Posted by fracturedstory

You called people weak minded and psychologically dependent on medication. That's not exactly saying your symptoms aren't as bad so you don't want to take the medication.

I was referring to no one here in particular. It was aimed at those who take medication because they think they can't function without them... That is the kind of person I want to avoid turning into. Like I said, I don't want to put myself in the situation where I become dependent on a stimulant or anti-depressant to get me through the day.

I hate it how people try to cover their a** by saying they never actually said something they said when people call them on it. I suppose I do it too, though I admit to it when I become aware of it. It's an ADHD trait to say one thing and later say something else, because you forgot what you said before.

All I'm doing is clearing up any confusion. I wouldn't want anyone around here to think I'm insulting them, calling them weak-minded.

Just because you show an ADHD "trait" doesn't mean you have ADHD.

I wish I had the kind of brain that could just read pages and pages, stay up for 40 hours writing or just take care of my house and health without loads and loads of lists. I found out today I do much better drawing on a higher dose than on a lower dose, and can barely draw at all on no dose. And I thought I was a good artist. Of course it's just that experiencing how much better I could work with the meds that made me see how I struggled to draw without. Properly starting with circles and slowly adding detail. It's taken me about five days to design a poster. Without meds if it took longer than 2 hours (depending on how much focus I could put into it - I spent seven hours designing a poster one day) I'd give up. I meant to make several drafts of this poster but I ran out of time.

Sounds like me. Except I've always known that I'm a terrible drawer. My family can draw Disney and anime characters quite easily. The best I can do is stick figures but at least I can do those well.

[footballer010]

Originally Posted by ana futura

"Impaired" is relative. What I consider "unimpaired" might be greatly impaired for someone else. I can't speak for footballer, but I don't really consider myself that impared. However, compared to the expectations some people have of themselves on the forums, I am greatly impaired, both on and off meds.

No, you're right. I don't feel impaired. I don't really have memory problems. The working memory assessment seems to indicate otherwise, but could it have been that anxiety that day hindered my performance on that test?

It takes me easily 10 times as long to do anything as it would a normal person. This improves with meds, but not dramatically. Meds do help me with a lot of other things- being on time, being more considerate of other people, being able to self reflect.

I don't have those problems either. I have trouble following instructions and with attention. Its nothing a lot of willpower won't solve, but I always feel it should feel more natural. If only people got to the point more often, instead of giving me this build-up, then I wouldn't have any problems.

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by footballer010

I was referring to no one here in particular. It was aimed at those who take medication because they think they can't function without them... That is the kind of person I want to avoid turning into. Like I said, I don't want to put myself in the situation where I become dependent on a stimulant or anti-depressant to get me through the day.



All I'm doing is clearing up any confusion. I wouldn't want anyone around here to think I'm insulting them, calling them weak-minded.

Just because you show an ADHD "trait" doesn't mean you have ADHD.



Sounds like me. Except I've always known that I'm a terrible drawer. My family can draw Disney and anime characters quite easily. The best I can do is stick figures but at least I can do those well.

Well, we're not mind readers. Maybe next time elaborate a bit more.

I'm good with drawing Disney characters too, especially animals. Everyone says I have an anime style. I haven't gone back to drawing since I finished the poster. It's just so draining.

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by footballer010

I was referring to no one here in particular. It was aimed at those who take medication because they think they can't function without them... That is the kind of person I want to avoid turning into. Like I said, I don't want to put myself in the situation where I become dependent on a stimulant or anti-depressant to get me through the day.

.

I wouldn't say I'm dependent on my antidepressant, I lived so many years
with anxiety and depression that it feels normal to me. But my daughter
won't let me stop taking them because I'm so difficult to live with when I
don't.

Originally Posted by footballer010

No, you're right. I don't feel impaired. I don't really have memory problems. The working memory assessment seems to indicate otherwise, but could it have been that anxiety that day hindered my performance on that test?



I don't have those problems either. I have trouble following instructions and with attention. Its nothing a lot of willpower won't solve, but I always feel it should feel more natural. If only people got to the point more often, instead of giving me this build-up, then I wouldn't have any problems.

If that's true for you, then just do it.

In my case, no amount of willpower or "trying harder" will enable me to
follow a string of instructions (one at a time please) or pay attention to
something when I'm not interested or I'm distracted. Willpower cannot
solve the misconnection inside my brain.

[Vhan]

Hey, Footballer010,

Sorry man, but I'm not gonna go back and re-read everything, for a question that I'm most likely gonna ask anyway, so...my apologies if you already covered this stuff, whatever. =]

You got this diagnosis right? Does any of it actually feel relevant to you? Its starting to look to me from what I have managed to read so far that these "problems" that this text has indicated aren't really problems.

Thoughts?

So you know were I'm coming from, I agree with the willpower bit.

[ana futura]

If all you struggle with is attention, and you can manage okay, then you are probably much better off without ADHD meds.

If my only problem was an inability to pay attention, I'd be just fine. But you've already mentioned that you have other issues, like procrastination and anxiety.

What do other people in your life say? Do they think you are doing alright? Before my diagnosis, I convinced myself that everything in my life was fine and dandy even though my life was/is a complete mess. I had a lot of jerry rigged solutions to things- like waiting to write a paper until the night before it was due, because that's when the anxiety would force me to do it.

I would at least read some books designed for the ADHD adult to develop effective time management strategies. I really like "succeeding with adult adhd" and there are a few others aimed at college students.

From reading your first post I would say that your diagnosis is correct. It's also quite likely that if the management methods you've developed over the years continue to be effective, or if you employ things like ADHD coaching to develop new strategies, then you will do alright without meds.

Originally Posted by footballer010

I don't have those problems either. I have trouble following instructions and with attention. Its nothing a lot of willpower won't solve, but I always feel it should feel more natural. If only people got to the point more often, instead of giving me this build-up, then I wouldn't have any problems.

I didn't realize these were "problems" until I saw how differently I acted on meds.

[jspet]

Originally Posted by meadd823

Grades, academic performance are not the only measures of impairment - I may have a freaking genius IQ and make good grades without studying a thing but still blurt out the first thought that comes to mind thus killing my social life not to mention job prospects

Forming meaningful relationships with other humans, being able to support ones self financially are required aspects of functioning - as is a tolerable level of personal hygiene.

If one can not form meaningful relationships with other humans because they blurt out crap impulsively they are . . ... wait for it . . .. . . IMPAIRED!


Even if I can pass test write essays to die for but I live in filth - I am impaired.

I can have a 4.0 gpa in every subject I take yet be incapable of following a casual conversation I am functionally impaired


Academic success is only one aspect of functioning - which HOW people can have three degrees, 4.0 gpa and still be impaired!!!

. . .. .

You are describing me to a T.... scary....

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by Lunacie

I wouldn't say I'm dependent on my antidepressant, I lived so many years
with anxiety and depression that it feels normal to me. But my daughter
won't let me stop taking them because I'm so difficult to live with when I
don't.

A couple of days before I went on anti-depressants I tried to take my own life.
That's when I decide that maybe I need to take something because willpower sure wasn't helping me out.

My PMDD is again as severe as it was before and I'm thinking about going back on them, especially with my crazy everyone-is-going-to-kill-me fear that I've just developed (was almost mugged - I always say fear is very plastic in me). So believe me when I say I know what it's like. And it's not a dependence - it's a stopping-myself-from-killing-myself-ence.

Most times I'd rather work this stuff out for myself but sometimes it's impossible.

[footballer010]

Originally Posted by Vhan

Hey, Footballer010,

Sorry man, but I'm not gonna go back and re-read everything, for a question that I'm most likely gonna ask anyway, so...my apologies if you already covered this stuff, whatever. =]

You got this diagnosis right? Does any of it actually feel relevant to you? Its starting to look to me from what I have managed to read so far that these "problems" that this text has indicated aren't really problems.

Thoughts?

So you know were I'm coming from, I agree with the willpower bit.

I guess they're not really problems. But the psychologist made it seem like I have untapped potential. He was very persuasive. The more I thought about it, though, he based his diagnosis on a 1 minute short term memory sub-test. And its possible some anxiety affected my short-term memory, as its been known to happen in other people (as I've learned).

First thing I did on this forum was look at the "things you do that that are ADHD" page or whatever its called. And yea, about half of those were relevant to me, and I imagine they're relevant to most people. Forgetting what you're gonna buy at the store... that's why people make lists. Forgetting whether you took your pill or not... that why people have those medication calendars. Poor sense of time... thats why people carry watches.

And if I had 100 bucks for every person I know that goes on youtube or facebook instead of studying... while at the library, I'd be able to pay off my student loans. Sure, I would benefit from amphetamines when it comes to academics.... but wouldn't everyone?

[footballer010]

Originally Posted by ana futura

If my only problem was an inability to pay attention, I'd be just fine. But you've already mentioned that you have other issues, like procrastination and anxiety.

What do other people in your life say? Do they think you are doing alright? Before my diagnosis, I convinced myself that everything in my life was fine and dandy even though my life was/is a complete mess. I had a lot of jerry rigged solutions to things- like waiting to write a paper until the night before it was due, because that's when the anxiety would force me to do it.

I would at least read some books designed for the ADHD adult to develop effective time management strategies. I really like "succeeding with adult adhd" and there are a few others aimed at college students.

From reading your first post I would say that your diagnosis is correct. It's also quite likely that if the management methods you've developed over the years continue to be effective, or if you employ things like ADHD coaching to develop new strategies, then you will do alright without meds.

I didn't realize these were "problems" until I saw how differently I acted on meds.

I'm actually treating the anxiety with venlafaxine. It was prescribed for my depression, but it seems to work wonders for my anxiety.

I feel relaxed. My focus has definitely improved. But apparently there have been studies about taking venlafaxine for ADHD and its been shown to work there. So whatever its treating, I feel better.

I guess people think I'm fine. I haven't heard anything though.

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by footballer010

I guess they're not really problems. But the psychologist made it seem like I have untapped potential. He was very persuasive. The more I thought about it, though, he based his diagnosis on a 1 minute short term memory sub-test. And its possible some anxiety affected my short-term memory, as its been known to happen in other people (as I've learned).

First thing I did on this forum was look at the "things you do that that are ADHD" page or whatever its called. And yea, about half of those were relevant to me, and I imagine they're relevant to most people. Forgetting what you're gonna buy at the store... that's why people make lists. Forgetting whether you took your pill or not... that why people have those medication calendars. Poor sense of time... thats why people carry watches.

And if I had 100 bucks for every person I know that goes on youtube or facebook instead of studying... while at the library, I'd be able to pay off my student loans. Sure, I would benefit from amphetamines when it comes to academics.... but wouldn't everyone?

Yes, the symptoms of ADHD are mostly things that everyone does, but the
person with ADHD does them to such an extent they impair everyday life.

We write a list to take shopping, and forget to bring the list with us - or
forget to take it out of our pocket or purse - and forgot to put one or more
things ON the list. I make several lists depending on where I am when I
notice I need to buy something. If I'm lucky, I remember to compare all the
lists and not just grab one, thereby forgetting the things that are on the
other lists.

We forget to look at a meds calendar. The reason I started using a daily
pill box was so I could tell if I'd missed any days, as having a daily pill box
is no guarantee I'll remember to take the pills.

Having a clock on my desk shelf - and another one on my computer screen -
AND another one on my cell phone is no guarantee I'll pay attention to
what time it is. Even setting the kitchen timer or the alarm on my phone is
no guarantee that I'll stop what I'm doing and leave the house on time or
give the dog his meds on time or ...

For people who have ADHD it's not about benefitting from taking them - it's
about bringing us up to just barely normal functioning. Or what's called
"leveling the playing field."