What a terrible weekend (warning, way longer than anyone wants to read in a post)

[ginniebean]

Originally Posted by LordranBound

I probably will let it go to some extent. Of course, that's the problem; it'll linger which is never good. We're in couples therapy for a different reason (getting ready to have another kid) so maybe I'll be able to talk about it with her there. Still, just the thought of it makes me want to close my eyes and roll over. This isn't always how I react that's why I'm a little freaked out about it. I REALLY don't want to have a big depression dip but this is what this feels like.

I guess what hurts is that no one gets it. Different people get different parts of it, but no one the whole thing. Maybe I'm just being a drama queen.

From just reading this, and you saying you don't usually get like this it made me wonder if something more is going on here.

I frigging hate the silent treatment and you appear to be getting some modified version of it. It will always set me off to obsessing. I learned over time that this had to be a deal breaker for me. The last time it happened, I said nothing, I packed up my bags and was out the door. The silence ended and never came back.

I think sometimes we don't notice the build up, the barbs and arrows that get pointed at us until the one that breaks the camels back. And in this case leads to thoughts of suicide and depression.

I know I had this problem as I was not aware, or wrote stuff off, having a bad day, didn't mean it, oh that slipped out etc... I made the excuses for him because in my add way I knew how all too easy it would be to mess up and say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. The thing is, that's not how it was, and I wouldn't have known had he not told me, confessed if you will.

Have you been focusing on you as the problem too much to the exclusion of her? Has more stuff contributed to the issue than you have already considered?

Something to think about?

[LordranBound]

Originally Posted by ginniebean

From just reading this, and you saying you don't usually get like this it made me wonder if something more is going on here.

I frigging hate the silent treatment and you appear to be getting some modified version of it. It will always set me off to obsessing. I learned over time that this had to be a deal breaker for me. The last time it happened, I said nothing, I packed up my bags and was out the door. The silence ended and never came back.

I think sometimes we don't notice the build up, the barbs and arrows that get pointed at us until the one that breaks the camels back. And in this case leads to thoughts of suicide and depression.

I know I had this problem as I was not aware, or wrote stuff off, having a bad day, didn't mean it, oh that slipped out etc... I made the excuses for him because in my add way I knew how all too easy it would be to mess up and say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. The thing is, that's not how it was, and I wouldn't have known had he not told me, confessed if you will.

Have you been focusing on you as the problem too much to the exclusion of her? Has more stuff contributed to the issue than you have already considered?

Something to think about?

Ewww! Uncomfortable questions!! I hate the silent treatment too - I always lose, or I have to leave the house/restaurant because I can't deal with it. I really can't - it might as well be a flame being held up to my hand.

I really don't think it's at a breakable point. Sure I wish that she was better with her emotions and talking about things, but at the end of the day, we have a pretty good relationship. If I were to go home and act normal, I'm sure things would go back to the way they were, which was good. The problem is I don't feel fine. I feel better than I did, but still have a queezy feeling in my stomach.

I think what's really bothering me is how down I fell two nights ago. I was desperate, I was angry, I was hurt. Now I don't feel desperate, but I do feel angry and am still hurt. The anger is more at my own family, the hurt more that she didn't apologize to me and just went to be without talking to me (we never do that). But if I try to drudge things up to get an apology out of her, it'll most likely backfire. Besides, I already told her exactly what I'm saying above. She acted sympathetic but not sorry. She's very stubborn and almost never apologizes about things. But I've learned that pushing her to do it never helps.

I'm just going to have to accept the hurt, which I will meditate on and hopefully be able to feel and let go. This will push us a part a bit, but not too much. And there's nothing I can do about it anyway. I'll bring it up at therapy, but I can't control her behavior and I'm not going to leave her over this.

As for my family, I've already let them know I'm angry and will continue to act angry with them until they apologize. That I can do because I don't live with them. But I can't have lingering arguments where I live, I just can't. I try to deal with them as best and honestly as I can and then move on.

[gatorADDe]

Sorry to hear about your weekend. Hopefully the next one is better

[LordranBound]

Feeling better today.

You know, someone in this thread asked me what it was that I was upset about and frankly, I didn't know. I think sometimes I get upset just because someone upset me. Or that it takes me longer to get over things. I do know that I'm a super-sensitive person.

Does anyone else here take longer to get over things?