'coping' and 'overcoming' :S

[Flory]

I guess I've come to the realisation that I am fundamentally just different to most people(not you lovely adhd'ers), my ADHD alongside the dyspraxia and irlens makes my relations with people, my life management, education/career chaotic and explosive to say the least.

Lately I've been thinking along the lines of the idea of 'coping' and what it means to me and what it means to others as well as this idea of overcoming.

On the probably most depressing note in all honesty I don't think its possible I'm feeling like a tiger trying to change its stripes, I think back to the many many correctional efforts made in an attempt to 'fix flory' but really I sometimes start to wonder whether its a futile effort,

I guess I'm yet to see how being the person that is;
Chronically restless Can't sit through an entire film,lecture, meal...
Literally can't look after myself without some form of supervision
Emotionally impulsive: to the point of being in some very dangerous situations with people/strangers
Physically impulsive : running into the road without look etc
The inability to pay a single bill on time
Manage my finances my father taking care of my money (etc etc I could go on)
Has any hope of becoming one of these contributors to society or someone that should be aspiring to a career etc :s (this is just my opinion for myself, not other ADHDERS)

I know how that possibly seems a bit melodramatic but am I just setting myself up for failure, should I just let nature take its course, let the ADHD be what it is and stop trying to force myself into the NT mould ? I try my best to be good and I try not to hurt other people and that's where me and my desire to 'adapt' ends, in all honesty id rather stay dosed up on stims and work in a regular job than struggle to adapt to adult life and maintain a pipe dream idea of how my existence should be...the days when I complete an essay are the weeks of having no sleep or food,a house knee deep in mess, no sleep and hyperactivity so strong it feels like its oozing out of my every pore...I ask myself ...is it really worth it? What is it going to be like when I have a professional career?

Is it ok to say sometimes...I just can't do it and have no interest in doing so?
I feel I have no real place in society bar being the village idiot...is relenting taking the easy way out or am I just being realistic about what I can hope to achieve? Because all I really want from life is simple; a stable home and people that understand me...neither of which are necessarily attributable to having a degree or a fancy job :s .....sorry for the debbie downer post I'm just feeling seriouslt ambivolent about everything

[CheekyMonkey]

Sometimes things get so bad that you feel like overcoming it just isn't an option. The trick is just to work THROUGH it until you get to a point when you feel like you can get a better grip on things.

[anonymouslyadd]

Thanks for being brave and posting your feelings.

I've been there so many times. The ADD life is frustrating, no doubt, and I wish I had something else to say.

I'll just listen, for now.

[Unmanagable]

Is it ok to say sometimes...I just can't do it and have no interest in doing so? I feel I have no real place in society bar being the village idiot...is relenting taking the easy way out or am I just being realistic about what I can hope to achieve? Because all I really want from life is simple; a stable home and people that understand me...neither of which are necessarily attributable to having a degree or a fancy job :s .....sorry for the debbie downer post I'm just feeling seriouslt ambivolent about everything

Yes, it is very okay.

There is no "easy way out" regardless of the choices we make, in my opinion.

It reminds me of a quote I read, "Someone once asked me "why do you always insist on taking the hard road?" and I replied "why do you assume I see two roads"?" I'm not sure who to attribute it to, but it's pretty accurate, huh?

What you described is the reason I walked away from my job a few months ago. It hasn't been an easy decision or process, and I'll still occasionally beat myself up about no longer making the same level of financial contributions to the household, feeling like I'm a burden a lot of times, feeling guilty for walking away from my students because i could no longer tolerate the BS, etc.

But, in soooooo many ways it's been the best thing I've done for myself in a very long time, and my dr. and therapist agreed 110%. I still struggle like crazy with a lot of stuff.

You just have to do what feels "right" in your soul and do the best you can. That's the hardest damn part for me because I'll still get twinges of not feeling "good enough" when I pick up certain vibes from others.


((((((Hugs)))))

[ginniebean]

Florence, maybe right now coping seems impossible and you may be right, in time things change and you'll find your way to coping more easily.

Overcoming... No, that's only for cheerleaders and salesmen. We're adhd for life and overcoming is overstating the possibilities. I guess it's important to ask, what serves you? Because so often we're running about trying to serve the needs of others there's no time to ask about our own needs.,
You've gone thru a lot the past while, stuff that would overwhelm most of us, be kind to yourself, and give yourself the time to recover that you deserve.


(((hugs))))

[sarahsweets]

Are you on meds? I look it like this... you are who you are f**k them if they dont like it.

[Flory]

Hi guys thanks for all your lovely posts and replies, I definitely feel like f***ing everything off a lot of the time I guess I needed to just get it all off my chest and you guys are amazing and so understanding )))hugs(((

[mctavish23]

Once again, Ditto on what Sarah said.

u r awesome btw.

u r welcome

[Flory]

....I rode th H wave today...didn't even bother trying to fight it, meds help with restless but impulse control is another story, is it bad that I just jump at all my impulses...its so much easier to just let it happen sometimes rather than fighting the internal battle ....
Also @ sweets I told a lady on the train that started shouting at me to ''go f**k herself'' the other day...she quivered away back into her whiney hole I was proud of myself

[ginniebean]

Originally Posted by Florence1989

....I rode th H wave today...didn't even bother trying to fight it, meds help with restless but impulse control is another story, is it bad that I just jump at all my impulses...its so much easier to just let it happen sometimes rather than fighting the internal battle ....
Also @ sweets I told a lady on the train that started shouting at me to ''go f**k herself'' the other day...she quivered away back into her whiney hole I was proud of myself

¸

Sarah is our Yoda!

[stef]

I think you (I mean us, generally) can, over time and with a lot of work, learn to "COPE" in this stupid NT-run society, but just forget about ever "fitting in" . Why bother using up all of that energy to try and be like everyone else?

And if people don't like it - well we know what Sarah would say!


EDIT: I am really, really generalizing by saying "cope", I know everyone has a lot of different issues....

[Drewbacca]

Coping is a natural part of life. Life is a cycle. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. What matters is how you look at it when you're down.

i reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8NpG...eature=related